Art critic Brian Sewell is one of Spoonfed's heroes. Haughty of voice and demeanour, arch but direct, intolerant and occasionally offensive, anybody who dislikes this funny old man is a fool.
Sewell became art critic of the Evening Standard in 1984 and has been entertaining his readers ever since. He is perhaps best known for his outspoken criticism of the YBA movement - Hirst, Emin et al - and for his television appearance in which he described his rather peculiar acquaintance with Salvador Dalí. This involved Sewell removing his trousers, lying in the foetal position in the armpit of a figure of Christ and masturbating, whilst Dalí looked on and pretended to take photos: brilliant!