Ouija Board: Have you seen Elvis?

Ouija Board: Have you seen Elvis?

28 October, 2009
by: Domzig

Wow. This must be what the Most Haunted team feels like. It seems that while it's OK for the likes of 2 Pac and Biggy to release thousands of records from beyond the grave, grab a Ouija board and try and get a word with a dead celeb and you're shut down quicker than a house party in Isleworth.
 
So, as you've probably worked out by now, we didn't manage to contact Elvis, but on the plus side, Spoonfed’s home-made Ouija board works like a dream. After setting up in the Edwardian grandeur of the upstairs room at the Old Queen's Head, the shot glass we improvise for a pointer comes to life in our volunteers' hands pretty much straight away, and heads directly for the 'no' section of the board as soon as I ask to commune with The King.
 
After 5 or 6 attempts to call Memphis, I decide that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, so we change tact and try to talk to someone who is actually paying attention. The opening exchange pans out like this:
 
Me: Is there anyone there?
 
Shot glass moves slowly towards the 'Yes Sir'.
 
Me: Are you alive?
 
Shot glass moves slowly towards 'No Ma'am'.


 
OK, we're clearly on to something here. Maybe we can salvage something from this poorly guided attempt at a séance. Maybe we can talk to the spirit of a dead bassoon player or the inventor of the harpsichord or something at least musical. I ask whether the person we're talking to is a musician.
 
The shot glass moves straight to 'No Ma'am'.
 
Damn it. Oh well, might as well stick with this guy: they're all we’ve got.
 
Me: What's your name?
 
The shot glass spells out B-R-A-D.
 
Me: When did you die?
 
The shot glass moves straight to the numbers and spells out 1793.
 
Without going into it too much, what follows is a 45 minute exchange with the dead soul, who as far as we work out, is called Brad, lived in Islington, can't spell, isn't rich but knows a secret that could earn a lot of money, drank in the Old Queen's Head, but doesn't haunt it, and died, in his words 'mtning'. Go figure.
 
I suppose if I had to sum up the experience, I'd have to say the use of a spiritual board is a lot like a journey on the 25 bus. You want to sit next to the hot girl, who is reading Sartre and looks really interesting, but somehow you always end up sitting next to drunken weirdo who smells a bit like wee and mumbles on about how he was kicked out of his house in 1986 for feeding the family cat grapes. Another theory is that Ouija boards work by funnelling the mediums' imaginations, which means that an illiterate Islington 'Mtner' is the best we could conjure up.

I'm not giving up though. Next year I might get a group of Elvis impersonators to operate the Ouija, or shell out and get one of those proper psychics to get in touch via a creepy séance in a Victorian mansion. Whatever it takes Presley, I'm getting my interview!

The Old Queen's Head is having a Halloween Zombie Ball on the 31st, which basically involves dressing up as the living dead and partying like witches on the sabbath. Should be a blast.

For more info on haunted pubs around London, read our guide on Where to Drink in London when you're Dead.

Check out London Halloween, if you dare...

Domzig