It's not often you get searched on the way into a comedy night so I'm mildly surprised when Desperate Dan asks if he can peruse the contents of my handbag on the way into the show – a pretty dangerous action in itself as my bag has magical powers akin to Mary Poppins' carpet holdall, and whilst it may not swallow lamps, people have been known to lose a hand or two. Nevertheless Dan survives and I make my way into the bizarrely named Knock2Bag, a monthly comedy night in Bar FM, Shepherd's Bush.
Perhaps the safety checks are in place for any die-hard British nationalists attending as German comedian Henning Wehn is first up; armed with a multitude of jokes based on shaky Anglo-Germanic relations. He plays the stereotypical German, using a stopwatch to keep his set running in good time and lambasting any loo breakers for interrupting the schedule. Many of his jokes centre on British competitiveness like football taunts: "Why do British football supporters always shout 'England 1966!' at Germans as if this is any reflection on modern day football? You don't see us shouting 'Stalingrad 1942!' at the Russians, do you?" He adds almost as an afterthought: "They would just shout 'Stalingrad 1943' back!" His jokes are as clever as they are controversial but his genial manner, faltering English and beaming smile defies anyone to take offence.
Brian Gittins, the gravelly-voiced resident comedian, must be one of the weirdest and funniest character acts I've ever seen. He begins: "Regarding jokes – it's been a slow month. Eh he", and proceeds in a staccato fashion, shouting out some half-baked one liners such as: "Knock Knock? Who's there? Sally Gunnell. Not interested". All the while, photos of bizarre celebrities including Russell Grant and Mr Motivator are projected onto the wall behind him. After a lot of rather flat jokes and 'oh dears', accompanied by some funny nervous ticks including grunts and glasses adjustments, he makes a member of the audience don a rubber ant mask and gives him various stage directions like 'chase me' and 'play dead'. Luckily Anty is game for it and the mask is uncannily good; bizarre yes but I still had tears rolling down my face.
Multi-talented comedian Tim Key is the headline act and spends his slot reading poetry jotted down on various notebooks and a biscuit kept in a mini-disc case. He is a brilliant actor amongst other things, I have previously seen him whipping through characters in his sketch group Cowards but tonight he plays the nervous orator and reads some short quirky poems. One entitled 'The Blind Politician' goes: "Blunkett. Scratched his balls and told a hundred lies. Then he cuddled his dog and ordered his manservant to make him a curry as hot as his hat." Some are just plain bizarre but my favourite is the last one about Eva Braun trying to get Hitler into a pair of jeans; a surreal picture indeed.
Rupert Majendie, who runs Knock2bag nights, says he tries to book acts that are a bit different from the norm and this results in the night being very well-balanced. Jarred Christmas is a highly skilled compere, chatting happily to the audience and occasionally falling back on his routines when organic comedy runs out. It's rare you come away from a comedy night thinking "I've never seen anything like that before" and with well over a hundred comedy clubs a week running in London nowadays, that can only be a good thing.
Click here to view all London Open Mic events
Click here to view all London Comedy events
Click here to view all London Events
Add an event
Bigger, better, tons more music: East End Film Festival Q&A
The East End Film Festival has established itself as one of the biggest and brightest film festivals...