Pickled penises, fried chicken and killing - an interview with Loretta Maine

Pickled penises, fried chicken and killing - an interview with Loretta Maine

14 October, 2010
by: Emma

American export Loretta Maine has recently moved to London in a bid to break into the British music industry. Currently touring the UK, performing hits like 'Cock-Sucking Motherfucker' with her band DogVagina, she takes five minutes out of her busy schedule to chat to Emma McAlpine.

Why did you move to London from the States?

Well when you are a Yank in the UK people think you must be a big star come over to break in the industry over here, rather than a massive failure. I like that ability to manipulate.

Can you tell us about how you found your band DogVagina and what inspired the name?

I wanted something aggressive yet feminine and something which appealed to a UK crowd. I noticed both dogs and vaginas are very popular in your press.

Where do you live and what’s the best thing about it?

I live in Stockwell. The best thing is the abundance of fried chicken shops. Any time of day, i can enjoy that crispy coating.

Are British boys better or worse than American ones?

British boys are better because they look like they will treat you like shit and they do. Whereas US guys look like they'll love you forever and then take a massive dump in your face. I blame Dawson's Creek.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done while drunk or high?

Um. I dunno. Maybe killed a man? Although once I ate two tubes of Pringles in one go.

What’s the first thing you do when you get out of bed?

Get back in.

You've been compared to Alanis Morissette quite a lot – is that a compliment or an insult?

That bitch stole my act. I was on the open mike circuit with her and she was all prissy and then she stole my edge. Well listen up Missy! I am taking my edge back. I am The Edge.

What’s the worst thing about the music industry?

Lily Allen.

What do you hope audiences will feel when they hear your songs?

A sense of loss. Love. A recognition that they are not alone. And total respect for me as an artist. And I hope they'll be drunk.

Tell us something we don’t know about Loretta Maine.

I have a penis. Not attached. In a jar somewhere. I bought it at a jumble sale. It might just be an old pickle.

What are your plans for Halloween?

Dress in white and hand out fruit. It's the one day I feel like being a saint. I can't be assed to dress up as a sexy cat or sexy devil or any of that shit. I am a woman of opposites.

Describe yourself in ten words.

Polka Jarring smoke christmas poppodum jesus rollerball dignity pinot grigio

Loretta Maine: I'm Not Drunk, I Just Need to Talk to You is at the Soho Theatre until Saturday 16th October

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Emma