Frogs, pies, condoms and the Royal Wedding. Who'd have thought they had so much in common?
Did anyone else try and read the paper at the weekend and find nothing else but Royal Wedding hype? We're all for extra days off, bunting and old school street parties but less of the 10-page pullout specials already. Just how much can one person write on Royal Wedding bouquets? About 1,000 words if the Telegraph is anything to go by.
But that's nothing compared to the greedy opportunists out there. As with any national event or 'annual commemoration', retailers and money-driven individuals see it as the perfect opportunity to make a quick buck out of joe public. And while we've been unable to feature many of the wares they're selling, plenty have given us a good giggle. So we thought we'd share some of the highlights with you.
One person who can always be relied on for his 'enterprising' schemes, is celeb chef Aldo Zilli. His press team told us he was happy to give us his predictions for what the royal couple should be having for their wedding breakfast (and don't forget he's just launched his new rage of oranic baby food!): 2-1 on a full fry-up with extra black pudding was it Aldo? Yeah we thought so.
The Victoria Business Improvement District (BID) is hosting a diamond treasure hunt centred on Victoria, to celebrate the Royal Wedding. Well, they are named after a former British monarch so that makes perfect sense.
Perhaps our favourite email was from those earnest peeps at Save The Frogs who wondered "Was Prince William a frog in a past life? Quite possibly, since he chose his wedding to take place on the 3rd Annual Save The Frogs Day, a worldwide celebration of amphibians also scheduled for April 29th."
Pieminster Pies have launched a Kate & Wills pie, made with British beef, wine, bacon, onions, mushrooms and a dash of brandy. Thank god the beef's British or we'd have thought it was completely irrelevant. Then there's Imli, the “trendy Indian tapas restaurant in Soho”, who are celebrating the royal do with a special lunch platter throughout April. What could be more regal than a pie or kebab, after all?
And spare a thought for the confectionery companies. While Fox's agree “there's no natural home for news stories about sweets”, they wanted us to know that they've developed some new flavours for a celebratory Union Jack packet of red, white and blue sweets. Which is good because us Brits need to maintain that gammy teeth stereotype.
With a brand name like Crown Jewels Condoms, you'd expect the regal phophylactics company to have designed something special to mark the occasion. And you'd be right, as they've commissioned a unique heritage box souvenir. "Combining the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-be, Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure."
Meanwhile, US collectibles company Franklin Mint told us that "Kate Middleton is living the dream every little girl holds dear — and every woman remembers with a smile — becoming a Princess." But we can now buy the fairytale folks! By taking home the Kate Middleton doll for $195 (or 3 easy monthly payments of $65.00) Dreams do cost money after all.
But look out for the Hamley's press team, who are furious with the devious Franklin Mint, and wanted us to know that it has “none of the authenticity” of their doll or “the charitable British element'”. Because £1 from the purchase of their £34.95 Princess Catherine doll goes to Help for Heroes. And the rest goes towards what? Paving the streets with gold so the homeless have something pretty to sleep on?
Last, but by no means least, we recieved an exciting movie trailer for Kate and Wills: The Movie. Oh no they didn't! Oh yes they bloody did.
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