Trouble in Clown Town
"You walk in there and you think who are these ponces? They look, well you know, and then you come in here and you think 'phew! - a safe place'."
This introduction by Kiwi comedian Jarred Christmas is a little odd but I know what he means. Trouble in Clown Town takes place once a month in The Wilmington Arms, sister pub to trendy celeb boozer The Hawley Arms. There are signed pictures of musicians, 'I heart Hawley' beermats everywhere and cheap and cheerful British pub grub like pies and chips. The barman looks like Noel Fielding which isn't unusual considering he is so friendly with the owners that they once got to appear in an episode of The Mighty Boosh. There are lots of indie types in the pub but there is a small adjoining room, that us unfashionables head for to watch Luke Toulson's new comedy night. Inside, it looks like a little cavern with black walls, about eight candle-lit tables, a small stage with a piano tucked to the side and a bar in the corner. It was very cosy; mind you I think anywhere is cosy once candles are on the scene - a Tooting crack den would probably look lovely with a few tealights in place.
Once everyone is settled with their pints of Peroni (on tap!) and even the front tables have been picked like the unpopular children on a sports team, our compere Mr Toulson comes on stage to introduce the night and the first act: "The first person I'm going to introduce is the wonderful Holly Walsh. Now, comedians always say to me please don't oversell me but I really think she's brilliant and to level things out a bit, maybe my humour's not your humour. I like racist jokes, and not modern day irony, I mean good old-fashioned 70's racism and Holly's one of the pioneers of that. So here she is....."
After this tongue-in-cheek introduction, Holly, Chortle Best Newcomer 2008, steps up to the mike. Her dialogue is a chatty stream of consciousness and quick fire jokes; she is a comic you can warm to instantly and feel ready to laugh at anything she says, especially when a joke may have gone awry. At one point she looks around the stage and suggests playing the piano to finish her act off saying: "You see I could go to Luke after the show and say I wish I hadn't done that piano joke and he'll say 'Oh don't worry that's show-business.' How crap is that? I mean how many other jobs can you use it to make excuses? It’s an inaccurate spreadsheet – that's accountancy! Or, that's a blue baby – that's midwifery!" This is undoubtedly prepared but the skill at which she applied it to the situation and made it sound spontaneous was impressive. She also had a cracking Anne Frank gag.
The next act is Benny Boot, a likeable Aussie who reminded me of Super Hands from Peep Show. He slowly drawls: "You might think I’m going to do some fresh, off the cuff stuff, well let me assure you, all the material is prepared and well-rehearsed, I'm going to do 12 jokes, each a minute long with a 10 second pause for laughter." Some of his gags were very good and others were so bad they were funny but we were certainly laughing with him not at him at any rate. "My act has finished early because the expected applause time I rationed for was too much." He points at the audience and says: "Lazy!", then points at himself - "Presumptuous."
Luke Toulson holds it all together expertly, occasionally doing some improv with the audience but abstaining from rude attacks. "I've got a little son", he begins and alarm bells start ringing, I've heard too many comedians telling 'my kid said the funniest thing the other day' jokes, but I am pleasantly surprised: "The other day I had to go to a kid's party and I hate those things. You have nothing in common with these other parents yet you have to have awkward conversations with them. A mother came up to me and asked: 'Which one's yours?' I replied: 'I haven't decided yet – which one are you going for?' Absolutely brilliant.
The main act, Jarred Christmas, starts off slowly with some geeky info on Lord of The Rings and builds his monologue up to a high-pitched rant about Mercury being declassified as a planet. Some of his jokes are weaker than others but the emphatic crescendo is a highlight and has everyone in hysterics.
Trouble in Clown Town is already up there as one of my favourite comedy nights so far. It has everything you'd want – a really cool little venue that serves delicious food, top class comedians and a genial compere with some very sick jokes up his sleeve.
Editors Note: Sadly Trouble in Clown Town is no longer running but there are still plenty of comedy nights at this great venue so keep a beady eye out!
