Or You Could Kiss Me at the National Theatre, Cottlesloe

Or You Could Kiss Me at the National Theatre, Cottlesloe

07 October, 2010
by: EmmaB

From Neil Bartlett and the puppet makers from War Horse comes Or You Could Kiss Me at the National Theatre, Cottlesloe. They should have stuck with horses.

Or You Could Kiss Me is a play about memory that is best forgotten. It starts with one man shuffling slowly onto the stage. Then another man shuffles slowly onto the stage. Doors are dramatically flung open to reveal an old man puppet in a wheel chair. He is wheeled, you guessed it, slowly onto the stage. This takes nearly five minutes. No one has spoken yet. It doesn't get better.

Take a bunch of A-Level drama students. Give them a few (admittedly) well made puppets and tell them they have to devise a deep, profound and meaningful piece of drama about an old gay couple, one of which is losing his memory. When they ask 'profound how?', don't tell them. Give them some sound effects and an accordion (of all instruments). Once they've finished their piece, tell them it's too short by an hour, but they shouldn't add to the material, just drag out what they have. Take out most of the humour. Have you done it? The finished piece in front of you is roughly akin to Or You Could Kiss Me.

There are so many things wrong with this production. The main gimmick – the puppets – is just that: a gimmick. Could the play be done without puppets? Definitely. Although it is nice to see the two characters represented both by an old puppet and a young puppet, this could just as easily be done with two actors. And it is. Take Mr A: there are two puppets representing him, one old, one young, with one actor doing the voice for both. Why then is there the need to have another actor who, at times, acts as young Mr A? And if this sounds complicated and confusing, that's because it is.

There are plenty of other irritating things in this production: the long sustained notes from the accordion, possibly in an attempt to create some kind of profundity. There's the copious amounts of dog barking that only lost its irritating factor when a dog puppet eventually appeared on stage. Then there are the sheer number of pregnant pauses that dragged the play on for an extra quarter of an hour.

There were hints of plot that were sadly under-explored. The young men show signs of not wanting to be seen as a couple and their older selves hesitate to enter into a civil partnership even though they've been together for decades. There is also the curious issue of how to write a will when your memory is sporadic. Any of these points would have made an interesting story if told in detail; as it was, there were only tantalising snippets of plot before they disappeared.

But let's not be too negative. The acting is fine. The four puppet people are well made and well operated. The puppet dog piddles on stage. There's no second act.

Or You Could Kiss Me runs at the National Theatre, Cottlesloe until 18th November.

Click here for more West End events
Click here for more London Theatre
Click here for more Things to do in London

EmmaB