Mike Stephenson

If you know someone in London who's just starting out in a band, chances are you'll find yourself at a Crucial Music gig at some point. I say this because they were the first kind folks to supply this reviewer with a gig, and I've since played for them several times. This is how I (and now you) know that they really do have no holds barred when it comes to finding bands. In one night you'll see some pop, some metal, some jazzy soul, some electronic tomfoolery, or any number of genre-dodging indie pigeons still struggling to find their hole.
This is very much what you pay for with crucial music: variety and unpredictability. Where there are a lot of bands playing among their first few gigs, the risk is the same as the blessing in that you see a lot of embryonic music - sounds and stage presences that are yet to reach full potential. In many ways this is more thought provoking than well-polished acts, because you get to imagine the blossoms yourself, to take the image of each nervous, shuffling, wide-eyed youngster stood up there, and mould it into the star that they all wish to be. Obviously you get the occasional bit of tat, but by law of average you also get the some nuggets of pure gold, and often it's something you never even thought was music.
If you like "underground" and all the pseudo-elitist connotations that the term tosses around, have a wander over to a Crucial gig. You'll get something that's so underground that it hasn't ever been discovered by the underground.

Doug Stanhope is an all-time hero of mine. Within the first few seconds of seeing him perform, I knew I loved him. There's something about his demeanor. He's not up there to tell jokes. He's not up there to try and BE funny. He's up there to show you what's funny about the world. And his take on what's funny about the world? The fact that it is broken and twisted and irretrievably FUBAR. He boasts an astonishingly capacious body of material that seems to be in constant flux, but throughout it is the ever-present theme that civilisation as we know it is not what we think it is. We are not free, we are not beautiful, and we are not natural. The word nihilism doesn't even begin to scratch the surface. There are no words to convey the depths of debauchery and sin that this man will embody. But with each hoarse, jagermeister-soaked breath, you can hear Doug Stanhope's unquenchable lust for life splashing into every syllable. Make no mistake, he wants you to live your life to its fullest, and that means drink, smoke, take drugs, screw whoever you want (or whatever you want) whenever you want. He is a pioneer sailing across the boundaries of morality, raising subjects that are so tragic, so macabre and so conventionally UNfunny that to even mention them at all is eye poppingly, head-rattlingly, spit-your-drink-out-and-choke-on-it hilarious.
Purists will undoubtedly scoff at any attempt to compare someone to Bill Hicks, and believe me I was among them until I discovered Stanhope. Not since Hicks has anyone been able to have me so consistently snapping my head back in incredulous laughter while simultaneously thrusting my fist into the air shouting "Yes! Yes! Oh lordy, a thousand times yes!" He picks up one political hot potato after another and not only does he nail it to the wall, he hits the nail square on the head, plunging the potato through the building and out into the street, leaving a smouldering, foul smelling crater on the sidewalk that has onlookers staggering nauseously from the wreckage in disgust.
I strongly urge you all to bask in the horror that spews from Doug Stanhope's mind, Tonight (Sept 23) is his last show in London. Even if you don't catch it, look for him on the internet. If you like to laugh at things you didn't think you were allowed to laugh at, he is the comedian for you. If you are easily offended, you might want to avoid him. Having said that, I think Doug would agree with me that the tendency to take offense is a social disease, instilled in you against your will by generations of irrational fear. So if you're easily offended, Stanhope is the medication you need to help you with your problem. Offence is a fence. The trick is to get over it ;)