Nathan Penlington: how do you solve a problem like Geller?

Nathan Penlington: how do you solve a problem like Geller?

05 August, 2011
by: Guest Spot

Nathan Penlington’s interactive experiment offers you the chance to harness the power of Uri Geller.

Uri Geller was eating soup as a small boy in 1951, the spoon he was using bent in his hand and since that day he has been obsessed with cutlery. I'm going to try and recreate the wonder he felt at that moment by attempting a psychic miracle using a knife, fork and spoon, these words and your own latent psychic energy.

The odds of you reading this while in the vicinity of cutlery is 1/11. If you have a knife, fork and spoon in front of you then you have already witnessed an amazing moment of synchronicity. If not, then take a moment to go and find some cutlery before continuing reading.

If you are right handed I want you to hold the knife, fork and spoon in your left hand, and if, like Uri, you are left handed then please hold them in your right. Now place the first two fingers of your other hand on the side of your forehead and repeat the following phrase in your mind "energise, energise, energise". Repeat the phrase over and over, until you feel the metal getting warmer and warmer in your hand. The heat of the metal indicates that you are successfully channelling your psychic energy through the mystery of time and space.

Now, place the knife, fork and spoon, in a row on the table in any order you like. Have you done that? Good. I'm going to try and tune my thoughts into your energised cutlery as I write these words some time in the past. Please follow along carefully.

First the spoon - swap the spoon with the item of cutlery on its right. If the spoon is at the end of the row leave it where it is.

Now, swap the knife with the item on its left. Again, if it as at the end of the row leave it where it is.

Finally, swap the fork with the item on its right. If the fork is at the end of the row leave it where it is.

Pick up the item at the left end of the row, and sit on it carefully.

Concentrate on the two objects on the table. With your right hand pick up the sharpest item.

That leaves one item of cutlery left, and one empty hand. Pick up the item with your left hand.

If you have followed my psychic deductions, and you correctly energised your cutlery with sufficient mind power, you should be reading these words sitting on a piece of cutlery, and holding one in each hand.

Now focus on your left hand, feel the weight of metal, let your mind follow the contours and explore the edges. I'm getting a rounded image, rather than a sharp one. Yes, I can see it clearly, you are holding a spoon in your left hand.

Now, concentrate on your right hand. I'm picking up something really sharp, but I'm a bit confused. Please concentrate harder, I'm getting too many points. That's better - you are definitely holding a fork in right hand, which means you should be sitting on a nicely warmed knife.

If this worked for you it means we have a psychic connection that transcends the bonds of the physical world. To increase your ability I recommend that you come and see Uri & Me - an obsessive and interactive deconstruction of the spoon-bending icon/oddball that we all know and love. Featuring live telepathy, clairvoyance, oil dowsing, a death-defying motorbike stunt and the chance for you to try out your new found psychic ability.

Nathan Penlington: Uri & Me is at The Wee Coo, Udderbelly's Pasture from Aug 3 to 29th, at 4.10pm

This article is provided courtesy of The View newspaper, launching across Edinburgh on Aug 7th.

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