Daily Measure

Pete Johansson: Bear Notice

Pete Johansson: Bear Notice

08 August, 2012
by: Guest Spot

Are you concerned about the lack of bears at this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival? Canadian comic Pete Johansson is and you should be too. Please read the following notice.



There are many finely balanced ecosystems in the world. The Mesopotamian delta or the fragile canopy of the Costa Rica’s rainforest for instance. But just one thing out of whack and it all comes tumbling down. Look at what happened when they famously introduced canned beer to Australia, or faeces to German porn. And so is the frail Edinburgh Fringe eco-system: a delicately balanced composition of flyerers, performers, flyerers/performers, performer/flyerers, venue owning fat cats, techs that might be lesbian, confused Americans and adorable exchange students.

But where are the bears?

Sadly this year they are being kept in cages outside of the Fringe, in a nearby zoo. And their absence is felt by all who visit the Fringe this year. A Fringe without bears, is as sad as a baby pram without a screaming,  colicky, spoiled fat baby. It's against the natural order of things. It's scary.

Asking around, it seems like a lot of people think there aren't any bears because of the Olympics, but if you look at the medal count, they aren't even on the boards. If this draconian anti-bear policy continues I fear the Fringe will never be the same. We must all get out there and demand a return of the bears to the Fringe!

For more info on this topic we'll be holding meetings every night in the Underbelly’s Dairy Room at 8:40pm to discuss the details.

Thank you for your concern.


Pete Johansson: Utopian Crack Pipe will be at the Underbelly, in Edinburgh, until 27th August

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