To coincide with Movember, we thought we'd get one of our favourite mustachioed comics to make his case for facial hair. Here are Sam Simmons' Top 5 Reasons You Should Grow a Moustache...
5. It gives me something to comb as I have nothing to comb on my head.
4. It really brings out the colour of my nostrils. Nostrils are incredibly underrated erogenous zones, did you know your nostrils flare when you orgasm? Like a horny bullock.
3. I have a thing for men with moustaches, including Tom Selleck, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Ron Burgundy, Frank Zappa, Salvador Dali, Ghandi, Errol Flynn, Richard Pryor, Sam Elliot, John Waters, John Cleese, Chopper and Ming the Merciless.
2. It's good to fiddle with in times of stress; when I was a boy I would nervously hold my "chap", which is not a good look on an adult bald man.
1. Bitches love it.
Sam Simmons: About the Weather is at the Soho Theatre from Monday 3rd December-Saturday 5th January, at 9pm.
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