Kathryn Bromwich takes a look at the best and worst of March’s film releases, which take us from quirky dance contests to machete fights on cliffs.
In Cinemas Everywhere
Stoker
1st March
Everyone’s favourite ingénue Mia Wasikowska plays innocent young India, whose father’s sudden death leaves her alone with her psychotic mother Nicole Kidman. Mummy dearest gets over her husband’s death by shacking up with his mysterious brother, Uncle Charlie (Matthew Goode), setting the village tongues wagging. But is Charlie a wholesome avuncular figure or creepy as hell? As you may guess from the title, this film is dark, twisted, and just as violent as you’d expect from the director of Oldboy. Picture a gothic Hollywood version of Fish Tank with the hysteria cranked up to eleven.
Oz the Great and Powerful
8th March
James Franco stars as an ambitious but mediocre magician who gets caught up in a tornado. Finding himself in the heavily CGI’d world of Oz, he meets witches Glinda, Theodora and Evanora (Williams, Kunis and Weisz): but who is good, and who is evil? Part Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus and part Alice in Wonderland, this wacky Disney remake is directed by Spiderman and Evil Dead director Sam Raimi.
GI Joe Retaliation
29th March
Does the title evoke images of meat-headed thumping explosions, high-speed chases and hot girls in latex? Bingo. You have to wait a cool 28 seconds before the trailer’s first explosion, but then boom, boom, boom! A machete fight on a cliff! Big men with guns! Exotic ladies! Quotes like: “Let's move, the world ain't saving itself”! and it stars The Rock, obviously.
Trance
23rd March
This Inception-style art heist thriller is directed by Danny Boyle and stars James McAvoy, Rosario Dawson and Vincent Cassel. As premises go, this is an auspicious one.
Cuban Fury
22nd March
Quirky McQuirk Rashida Jones continues her quest to be Zooey Deschanel. The ubiquitous Chris O’Dowd, Olivia Colman and Nick Frost all star in this comedy about a former salsa prodigy shimmying his way to a comeback.
The Place Beyond the Pines
29th March
Blue Valentine director Derek Cianfrance continues his crusade to prove that love hurts. This is familiar ground for shirtless, motorbike-riding, weapon-wielding Ryan Gosling. Upon finding out that his fling with Eva Mendes resulted in a child, he decides to provide for them by robbing banks. Now that, ladies, is a man. Also stars Bradley Cooper as a justice-loving cop.
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