Half Man Half Biscuit at The Forum

Half Man Half Biscuit at The Forum

20 October, 2008
by: Lowri

Half Man Half Biscuit (HMHB) have achieved almost legendary status for their comedy, classically British lyrics. And looking around the audience at The Forum tonight, it's easy to see the demographic they appeal to.

Well over half the crowd are middle-aged, balding men wearing glasses. A large percentage of them are wearing HMHB t-shirts, and they are all incredibly protective about their viewing positions. The large woman in front of me tells me smilingly as she wriggles past to go to the bar: 'Stand in that spot, and it won't be pretty'. I smile, mishearing her, thinking she must be saying something either polite or mundane. Then, running the phrase through my mind, I suddenly realize that she intends to make me bleed if I nick her place. Christ. She's wearing her HMHB t-shirt too.

I'm clearly less of a fan than the gathered devotees.

The problem with watching a band with a singer who is effectively a comic, is that you need to be able to hear and understand (or know by heart) every word to appreciate the performance. Most people here tonight know every single word. And each song is greeted with hearty cheers. I am familiar with only a few, and the ones I don't know, I can barely make sense of. The sound isn't particularly good and most of the lyrics are unintelligible. Without the comedy lyrics, what you are left with is some fairly basic (dare I say dull?) rock. The tune to 'Old MacDonald' gets used, and lots of the songs utilize a similar formula. Funny lyrics, basic tune.

The ones I can understand are brilliant. 'Took Problem Chimp to the Ideal Home Show' is a particular favourite. As is 'You've got a Shit Arm, and A Bad Tattoo'. The crowd are for the most part, bellowing along with Nigel Blackwell's scouse tones. 'There is surely nothing worse than washing sieves?' they all sing, to the tune of 'She'll be Coming Round the Mountain When She Comes'.

Other moments of hilarity are 'Tending the Wrong Grave For 23 Years' and singing along with the entirely non-indie, non-skinny crowd: ‘Four skinny indie kids, four skinny indie kids, drinking weak lager in a Camden Boozer…'

So, all in all, the gig is definitely amusing but not landmark - and not an experience I'd repeat. Writing this, I can't help but hear Blackwell's reaction to another bad review he received. He wrote a song about it.

'It's a bad review, I got a bad review! Oh No!'

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Lowri