Ok, I'll admit it. It's been a bit of a dry spell recently. Aside from a few fantastically awkward dates courtesy of Match.com, I've been in a fairly monogamous relationship with Film4. After all, London can be a tough city to find your soulmate, what with most of us being so busy avoiding eye contact on the tube. Luckily for me, then, that I'm off to review SpeedDater's Autumn Party, a London gathering of 300 singletons looking for love.
The party is a smorgasbord of events to encourage single mingling. Upon arrival, I am given a padlock and encouraged to ask men, who have been given the keys, to unlock me for prizes – although judging by the fumbling efforts to force a key in my keyhole I'm not too impressed by anyone's odds. I sign up for a round of speed dating and for the flirt workshop, hosted by Metro's dating columnist Sue Ostler, and am then sent off to have my photo taken for the 'flirt wall'.
My friend Gia, who I have dragged along for moral support, and I arrive at The Refinery in Borough just as the room is just beginning to fill. We have a few minutes before our flirt workshop and are about to engage in a bit of light mingling when a tall, smiling man approaches us. I'm already impressed by the extroverted guy chatting us up and the friendly conversation is the perfect start to the evening. Emboldened, Gia and I split up to work the room.
Ten minutes later we regroup, rather shell-shocked.
'I just asked those guys what they did. "Retail." "IT." And... silence,' I explain.
Gia says: 'That guy's opening line was, "I'm a regular, I was at one of these last night. So which celebrity would you like to sleep with".'
Ouch.
It's time for our flirt workshop and we're apparently in need of some tips to keep the conversation going if we're to stand a chance tonight. We head upstairs to find that Sue has already gathered a small flock of women to whom she offers up the first tip, 'just act like you're with your girl friends'.
We're then instructed in the fine art of hair flipping, giggling and getting men to talk about themselves. It's everything but the eyelash batting. I find myself a bit horrified by the seeming medievalness of it all, particularly when we are instructed to, under no circumstance, use the line 'so what do you do?' Right, that's my best material gone.
Not sure I've got the hang of this whole flirting thing, but it's time for our speed dating session – an opportunity to get three minutes alone with ten different guys. By this point the room is packed and noisy so I'm glad I've signed up for the session which offers a bit of a reprieve from the packed bar and unstructured mingling. The first guy sits down. Smile. Flip the hair. Shake hands.
'Where did you get that necklace?'
Completely thrown by that opening gambit I shrug, covering up with another hair flip. Should I bat the eyelashes as well? And why does he want to know where I got my necklace?
'It's very interesting. I sell beads on eBay.'
Er... has it been three minutes yet?
The
rest of the speed dating session is surprisingly enjoyable. After
negotiating the tricky waters of eBay jewellery sales the next nine men
and conversations are incredibly varied. I struggle to keep up with a
foul-mouthed Northerner who drills me on politics, am confused by a
friendly German who can't understand what I do for a living and am
flattered by a London native who spends the entire three minutes
complimenting my American accent.
After our speed dating session
we stop by the flirt wall to discover that Gia has received a handful
of flirt cards from enamoured gentlemen and to leave a few flirt cards
of our own. Before heading out, I am waylaid by frighteningly
enthusiastic man who, before I can escape, presses a flirt card into my
hand with the note 'I really enjoyed chatting + would like to chat some
more xx' and a phone number.
I was unsure of what to expect upon
arrival at SpeedDater's Autumn Party but by the end of the night I
found myself more optimistic than ever about finding love in London. I
may not have found someone I at the party I wanted to see for a second
date, although plenty of pairs did seem to be making post-party plans,
but I was completely unprepared for the confidence boost the night
provided. Even Sue's flirt session in retrospect wasn't about
old-fashioned tricks to land a man but about finding simple ways to
give women the confidence they needed to strike up a conversation.
Additionally, the incredible range of people at the event ensured that,
even if one conversation was dreadful, there were nine more to come
that would at least sustain three minutes of interest.
Happy
after a fun, flirty and flattering evening, I made my way through the
London underground filled with my new SpeedDater provided self-esteem.
A lone busker on his guitar must have caught the spring in my step and
with a thought of 'what the hell?' I flashed a smile and flipped my
hair. And what do you know? He winked back.
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