Michael Hutchence finally gets the one accolade he always wanted: a co-writing credit for the Spoonfed single of the week. And they say life isn't fair...
*SINGLE OF THE WEEK*
Professor Green – I Need You Tonight
Virgin Records
Sampling the original 'I Need You Tonight' by INXS, but with a re-written chorus, this is a solid chunk of chart gold. A whole new generation of kids will be exposed to one of the all time great riffs, and a whole new audience will hopefully get into Professor Green enough to buy his album, which will have some 'real' hip hop on it.
Battle MCs often don't make very good recording artists but Professor Green, bucking this trend, is clearly a star. 5/5
TO
Bananarama – Love Don’t Live Here
Fascination Records
Bananarama are back! But they got old and they're one girl down. And there's not a hint of stone washed denim, mullet mops or crop-tops, nor any back-flipping, spandex wearing prisoners in sight. Boo.
Newly remixed 'Love Don't Live Here' is possibly one of the worst things I've ever heard with one of the worst videos. It's so bad in fact, it's totally amazing. The duo caress and pout their way through this part-power ballad, part-dance pop number. An utterly tacky attack, and we wouldn't expect anything less. 4/5
LR
Paul Weller – No Tears To Cry
Island Records
Making a much-welcomed return this year, the title track from 'The Modfather’s' forthcoming album bears all the swagger of The Jam. Although I am much more au fait with his work circa 'Stanley Road', this will nonetheless provide a much-improved soundtrack for the louts left with a void in the wake of Oasis’ split.
The jury’s very much out as to whether he can still deliver as poignant a lyric as in years gone by, but one thing’s for sure: he still somehow seems to look cooler the older he gets. 3/5
RM
Kate Nash – Doo Wah Do
Fiction
Bouncy tunes and airy lyrics make for a mindlessly sweet song. The old battle of brains versus beauty is sung in a rather unimaginative way, and Kate decides doo-whopping and choosing to "read a book instead" is one way to handle the situation.
As it comes to an end, you aren't left with very much of substance, but the pretty pitch and clap-along melody will put anyone in a good mood. Even add a skip and a hop to a step. 3/5
SC
Hempolics – Serious
Unsigned
Well, it's certainly not seriously mind-blowing, nor is it seriously awful; it's just seriously average. Unfortunately for Grippa, the 'gang leader' of the Hempolics, his tunes suffer from the fact that he produces all his tracks in his bedroom. Whereas it may work for certain genres of music, here it results in a serious lack of the organic summer vibe that makes reggae so sacred.
An acceptable and perfectly pleasant piece of background music, that is all. Seriously. 2.5/5
RS
Efterklang – I Was Playing Drums
4AD
If butter is the nation's stalwart toast topping and Marmite divides the masses, this is the low-fat soft cheese of new music. More creamy than pungent, it's pretty flavourless and would do well with something feistier and stinkier on top – like smoked salmon or a good ol' quirky music video.
But alas, this remains a non-event of a song. There's a promising violin bit that leads to a 'kick-ass' key change which sadly disappoints. A poor selection for a single from a group that still have a gentle but anthemic album that's well worth listening to. 2.5/5
NK
Lostprophets – For He's a Jolly Good Felon
Sony
So Bananarama are back are they? Oh right, and I don't get to review their new single. No, no don't worry, that's just totally fine – when I'm not throwing a tantrum about my new release allocation I'm actually a really big Lostprophets fan anyway. I've got all their records. Even the MENTAL first one.*
So what's it like? Fine, basically. Standard Lostprophets fare, although they seem to have taken my criticisms of their last video to heart. This one's all gritty estate adventures – it's even got that dude from Snatch in it, rather bizarrely.
Sure, it's no 'Venus', but then what is these days? 2/5
TJ
Rogue Traders – Would You Raise Your Hands
Sony Music
It appears I wasn't successful in moving away from Australia to escape this sort of twaddle on the radio. It also appears pop/dance group Rogue Traders haven't unfortunately died a peaceful career death with the departure of their ex-Neighbours-starlet frontwoman.
Unsurprisingly, this single is shite. The '90s techno beats and cheap-sounding synths call to mind something you'd hear in the background on a funfair ride, or during a particularly horrendous New Year's Eve special. Also, memo to new singer – you're not Lady Gaga, so put some pants on. 1/5
SK
This week's single review were brought to you through a haze of power-balladry on the Spoonfed stereos. Thank you Bonnie Tyler. Thank you Nickelback. THANK YOU COLOUR ME BADD.
Join our Facebook Group, obviously.
*Disclaimer: Tom may or may not have actually written the second half of this paragraph. And he never throws music-indced tantrums. Except when Nickelback is on.
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