World leaders be warned: the N Dubz record is so bad, it might cause a nuclear holocaust.
Wiley – Take That
Universal
Back when I used to hang out in Nottingham, I can remember trekking all the way to the Derby border to these cruddy little warehouse shows, where the bouncers doubled up as drug dealers and the cops could literally bust in at any time.
This Wiley track sort of reminds me of the filthy grime/dnb that blew out of those speakers. Don’t believe me? Press your face up to the crappiest speakers you can find, crank this up and I think you’ll see what I mean. 4/5
DH
Erland and The Circus – Trouble In Mind
Full Time Hobby
Ex Blur, The Verve and The Good, The Bad and The Queen member - the multi-talented Simon Tong - is partly responsible for this hotly tipped new supergroup. And, as expected, they are really good.
Smooth, quirky and warm (just how I like my melted cheese) this track is a nice, slightly melancholic, folky number with spot on percussion and a note of the familiar.
Maybe it’s the lyrics which ring bells: "I didn’t mean to disappoint you – I’m just sorry that I did." Hmmmm. 3.5/5
LC
Beach House – Norway
Sub Pop
If The Magic Numbers tried to make music between Horlicks time and bed time it would sound like this: good, archetypal dream pop with lots of breathy female vocals. Perfect soundtrack for a car advert where a couple take their 4x4 to the country for some peace and quiet, gaze at scenery, smile at animals, then realise they’re actually in a tourism advert for somewhere boring but pretty and they can’t escape.
Shame it’s too late for The OC soundtrack. 3.5/5
NK
Rusko – Woo Boost
Mad Descent
Another energetic track from the dubstep man of the moment; 'Woo Boost' has its own character, and stands out for its progression in tempo at several points throughout.
This fun approach to dubstep is Rusko's forte. However, for grimey dubstep lovers this may not necessarily pay off, due to its upbeat, playful build ups (the clue is in the name). This tune is guaranteed to lift you out of the dubstep-induced coma you may have fallen into by the end of a long night, so look forward to hearing it soon. 3/5
AG
Girls Can't Catch – Echo
Polydor
I despise this song for three reasons – 1) it's shockingly bad, 2) the word 'Echo' annoyingly but unsurprisingly echoes over and over, and 3) for the fact that it's gotten into my head and it just won't go away! To be fair, it does get better as it speeds up a notch towards the end but overall it's just underwhelming, manufactured rubbish.
Having said that, after a few drinks I can see it going down well on the dance floor. 2/5
LR
Egyptrixx – The Battle for North America
Real Monsters
Egyptrixx, the exciting live set upstart, and backstreet peddler of bass-heavy club beats, has aimed his latest single, 'The Battle For North America', squarely at the dance floor.
Retaining the dissonant aspects of his previous releases, an almost tropical funky house beat and an unsettling hook, he has produced a balance that shifts from just the right side of dirty ghetto house to endearingly repetitive; you could have been dancing to it for the last two minutes or the last two hours and be none the wiser. 2/5
BG
Django Django – Wor/Skies Over Cairo 7”
Bonjour Branch
Django Django’s follow up to the decluttered world groove of debut, ‘Love’s Dart’, 'Wor' demonstrates a different dimension from the Edinburgh four-piece now living in Dalston.
‘Wor’s cadence ascends through a maraca-entranced ambience like a Dick Dale-esque surf beat that’s had the incessant joy slashed out of it; probably corollary to Django Django’s Dalstonburgh living. The urgency of the riff is endearing; the reverbed woos a play to cliché. Each verse builds on the previous. But it’s not very new, and not as clever as ‘Love’s Dart’. 2.5/5
PW
Biffy Clyro – Many of Horror
14th Floor Music
I liked Biffy back in the day – there was something about their decade-late Caledonian grunge that was rather agreeable. Then they morphed into Foo Fighters-lite, sold some records and Simon Neil starting looking like a walking, singing H&M ad.
This is their most populist release yet. It’s emo for people who don’t like emo, rock for Chris Moyles listeners and a power ballad for those lacking a sense of irony – as trite as Snow Patrol and just as marketable. 1/5
MF
Fan Death – A Coin for the Well
Mercury Records Limited
Testament to the misguided conceit of a Brooklyn scene which thinks it’s year zero for music (it’s not), this EP is more ready meal electro-disco for indie types – straight out the microwave and straight into the NME, without so much as a thought for the Technicolor ineptitude of the tunes.
Indeed, this female duo sound disconcertingly like chunky exhibitionists the Gossip, but whilst I’d rather like it if they took their clothes off and ratcheted up the lesbian intrigue, I’d still have my fingers firmly in my ears. More appropriate band name: Slow Death. 1/5
JL
N Dubz feat. Mr Hudson – Playing with Fire
Polydor
Imagine you're Kim Jong Il. Isolated, amusing yourself with the immaculately choreographed mass games or routinely scoring 3 or 4 hole-in-ones per round of golf.
Now, bearing in mind you have nuclear weapons, imagine you've just watched N-Dubz featuring Mr Hudson – 'Playing with Fire' on Youtube. What're you going to do? That's right! Nuke 'em! Nuke 'em all! Playing with fire? Damn right they're playing with fire, and we're all going to pay the price. 0/5
TO
As you may have already heard, rising Memphis garage rocker Jay Reatard passed away in his sleep last night. He was 29. I’ll always remember him destroying a warehouse party with The Shitty Limits a couple of years back and it’s a real shame that people will be denied the chance to see a unique talent in action. This one’s for him.
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