Musings aside, it's definitely NOT about Alex Turner's cock.
Arctic Monkeys - My Propeller
Domino
Not your usual frantic monkey thrash, 'My Propeller' is both melodic and poetic. ‘My propeller won’t spin and I can’t get it started on my own – when are you arriving?’
Yep, you’re right – it does sound like a euphemism for his, erm... John Thomas. But apparently you’re wrong. ‘If it was a euphemism for that I wouldn’t be saying my propeller wouldn’t spin would I...? I’d make it spin on my own.” So there you have it, Alex Turner has no potency problems and can write a damn good song. You got that? 4/5
LC
Peggy Sue - Watchman
Wichita
Brighton/London-based three-piece Peggy Sue do a nice line in dark kookiness. Simple marching percussion combines with that rattly thing they use in Westerns to keep things trotting along with a sense of something ominous on the horizon.
All the while, vocals - courtesy of the oddly named Rosa Rex and Katy Klaw - tell knowing stories of boredom and paranoia and love. I'm not entirely sure what they're talking about, but it doesn't stop the whole thing from being utterly captivating. 4/5
TJ
Thee Fair Ohs - Hey Lizzy
Sex Is Disgusting
Dig the likes of Vampire Weekend and other Brooklyn bands playing jingly jangly afro-pop? No, me neither. In which case you should really visit this as your last chance saloon as it sounds more like the punk rock they would listen to on Spongebob Squarepants, should they ever do so.
The track features on the forthcoming 7" split EP with Spectrals from Yorkshire and bears the tropical rhythms of Zen Zen Egui. African melodies are delivered via excitable percussion, all in a loose garage rock template with sing-a-long lyrics such as 'Did you start that fire?' (Repeat six times). Simple. 4/5
RM
French Horn Rebellion vs. Database (Hey Champ Remix) - Beaches and Friends
Once Upon A Time
Who says french horns were just for brass bands? Brothers Robert and David of French Horn Rebellion surely don't as they join forces with Database and Hey Champ to bring us this grab your mates, speedo's and have a disco 'Beaches and Friends' electro synth funk tune.
With the seagulls twirping at the beginning it almost feels like your right there at the beach. Almost, but not quite. The sun may be shining outside for now but maybe save this track for a couple more months before you really start feeling it. 3/5
SC
Goldhawks - Where In The World
Blueflowers
Their debut album track is scarily akin to U2, a label frequently but not unfairly imposed on the Goldhawks, especially when the gritty vocals of Bobby Cook kick in and trail over a thumping bass drum beat and high-pitch piano notes.
The mounting instrumentals of this five-strong group are teamed well with the confident yet tentative tone of the lyrics – first thought was a good end song for an angsty Skins episode. More reasonably, I think tracks 1996 and Running Away are more exceptional. 3/5
SG
Serious Action Featuring Percy Dread - Hexadecimal
Distinctive Records
Part dub reggae, part breaks; I really like the beginning of this Hexadecimal track but I'm not mad about the cheesy vocals. I can imagine it's exactly the sort of thing Cafe Mambo would play as the sun sets on some blissed out turbo rahs in Ibiza. It has Ministry of Sound Chillout Compilation written all over it.
That's not to say I don't like it entirely. I would happily slurp down a 20 euro pina colada with this in the background. 3/5
EM
Cold in Berlin - Destruction/What Went Wrong
2076
I was going to do a paragraph on each of these but they're both equally terrible for exactly the same shouty, angsty, repetitive reasons. This is music you would play at a protest against sunshine. You've probably heard it playing over a scene in an American espionage drama featuring a seedy S&M fuelled European nightclub.
Cold in Berlin aren't completely nails down a blackboard, their songs do seem to all meld into one but Total Fear for example, is just about bearable so there's hope the rest of the album won't be as pointless as these tracks. 2/5
NK
Audio Bullys - Only Man
Threesixzerogroup
I thought the idea of forming an electro-disco band was in part to get girls. Not to scare them away with semi-psychotic, deluded alpha male proclamations of 'I wanna be your only man, don't want to see you with no other man, no, just me girl, only me'.
Repetitiously sung with the tuneful bon-vivant charm of a Troglodyte. I tried this tack, the the reply was 'No thanks, knowing that I can't swim, I would rather walk into the sea'. 2/5
BG
Crazy Arm - Still To Keep
Xtra Mile
This track will appeal to a specific genre - unfortunately it's one I was overexposed to in adolescence by overzealous surfers in cargos and Megadeth t-shirts. This four-piece might have a hint more of the bluegrass vibe, but it's essentially the same anti-everythingist lyrics propelled by unoriginal thrash-guitaring that's driven the hardcore scene for years.
It may take a more discerning ear than mine to tell good from bad here, so tattoo-embalmed Slayer fans, rise up in arms if you will. Everyone else, feel free to give this a miss. 1/5
SK
This week's edition of singles of the week was brought to you by a gorgeous bunch spring chickens, a couple of bonus easter bunnies, and by the letter Q.
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