Like your annoying older brother with his 5-figure salary, impossibly hot girlfriend and encylopedic knowledge of obscure 90s indie pop, your parents love us way more than they love you. In fact, you're this guy...
Fungi Girls – Owsley Knows
Group Tigtener
Just when you thought it was safe to get back in the water, Fungi Girls have released another surf pop record. The good news is surf pop isn't one of those genres you can get sick of. Everyone loves two part harmonies, shoegazing and lyrics that make you want to hold hands.
'Owsley Knows' is a bit repetitive, but these guys are only about 13 or something so give them a break yeah? When you were their age you couldn't even play 'Stairway to Heaven' 4/5
LM
Elephant – Ants
Memphis Industries
Ah lovely! After a horrid, grey, rainy Monday, Ants by Elephant is a sweet, soft, floaty tune to while away a sunny day to.
It's all happy and spangley and a bit Polyphonic Spree and a bit Beach House. It's gone and cheered me up no end after having to research this annoyingly obscure boy/girl duo. Seriously people, get a proper website, a profile and SEO your frickin' band name! 4/5
NK
Shadow Dancer – Murder Box
Boyznoize
Take a trip to the murder room. Sleazy looking electro house marches you away, before suddenly everything starts to spin and sounds are spiralling. Lost in a disco hole with no one to save you, hypnotised by trailing arpeggios, it seems psychedelic disco will have his wicked way.
Flying synths multiply into a swarm, rushing at you like the hectic climax of a minimal track at an unholy after-party. An experimental journey doesn't come much better than this. 3.5/5
AH
Coasting – Hots for Teacher/Coasting
Group Tightener
A real game of two-halves this one. I’ll start with the plus side, the song Coasting is absolutely amazing, a kind of scuzzy, lo-fi surf instrumental that sounds like Sonic Youth covering Link Ray. Double-thumbs up .
Now for the bad news. Hots for teacher is nowhere as good as the Van Halen song with the same name. The drums pound at a pedestrian pace and the drop is about as underwhelming as a plate of boiled rice It was recorded in their school cafeteria though, so I’ll let them off. 3.789/5
DH
Fluffy Lumbers - Henry Dolland’s
Group Tightener
With a name like Fluffy Lumbers, you know you’re not going to be listening to heavy metal. And you’d be right, as this is exactly the kind of track you'd expect to hear in a Sofia Coppola movie: catchy guitar riffs and muffled, shoegazy vocals, distorted to sound like they're floating out of a window somewhere.
Evoking a dreamy, almost nostalgic vibe, this is the kind of song that could make you feel happy or sad, depending on your mood; perfect for the solitary road trip. 3/5
EM
The Go! Team – Buy Nothing Day
Memphis Industries
A great synth pop intro drawn out for four minutes. It's a shame it doesn't go anywhere, but by the time you realise that there's no climax to look forward to, you're already placated by a pleasant wash of upbeat bass and lightly distorted power chords.
Buy Nothing Day feels like the perfect song to accompany a lazy, sunny afternoon drinking with mates. Let's hope the chirpiness survives until summer. 3/5
HS
Collectable Few – Headstrong
Laissez Faire Club
Booooooooring. It’s alright. They're not actually bad or anything, and this will probably get quite a bit of radio play, but dammit they need to grow a pair and try to rock a bit instead of worrying about their hair so much.
I can guarantee you the front pockets on their guitar cases house pocket sized cans of hairspray. If for some reason you decide this, the musical equivalent of penny loafers, is worth a listen expect to have to slap yourself about a bit as your brain rebels against your common sense and lets your mouth hum along. 1/5
TO
Chase and Status (feat. Liam Bailey) – Blind Faith
Mercury
So apparently London's young rapscallions are listening to something called drum and bass these days. Or dubstep. I'm not too up on it myself.
Reclining upon my Chesterfield, pipe in hand, feet elegantly encased in monogrammed velvet, I summon the butler to activate the gramophone. I immediately wish I hadn't, as a wash of silly noises stream forth across my drawing room. “How am I supposed to read 'A Rebours' with this racket going on?” I shriek. The butler replaces it with Sibelius. 1/5
TJ
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