Take That ruin Christmas...
Stateless – Ariel
Ninja Tunes
Chocolate mousse. Many things claim to be the real deal, but there's a world of difference between the plastic pots of approximation peddled by major supermarkets and a traditional French-style mousse consisting of nothing more than eggs, chocolate, sugar and possibly a hint of cream.
This first single from Stateless' new album, 'Matilda', is how pop-step should be. It's a fine mousse, handmade by Raymond Blanc using only the finest chocolate, as opposed to something like Magnetic Man which is more of a Tesco value chocloate 'flavour' dessert in comparison. 5/5
TO
My Chemical Romance – Na Na Na
Reprise
“Louder than God's revolver, and twice as shiny.” So says 'Dr Death-Defying at the start of MCR's latest epically conceptual video – apparently the good doctor is played by the ludicrously named Steve, Righ? from Mindless Self Indulgence, but that's probably by the by....
Doing away with the ponderous pretensions of the 'Black Parade', 'Na Na Na' is a tightly coiled ball of energy that fizzes along on Gerard Way's brattish snarl. Quite what he's rebelling against remains unclear (meaningful lyrics perhaps?) but this is still ace. 4/5
TJ
Gruff Rhys – Shark Ridden Waters
Self Release
Gruff Rhys just doesn't give a flying one. He releases an album of acoustic folk. But sings it in Welsh and Spanish. He forms an electro outfit. He gets bored. He makes friends with Gorillaz. Snooze.
Now he's released a kaleidoscopicy, loungey, acidy track that shimmers and glimmers with all the joys of pop and feels like having your hair gently stroked in a jazz club. Yawn. He's probably already moved on and is planning a concept album about Jedward. 3/5
LM
McFly feat. Taio Cruz – Shine A Light
Townsend
Yes, McFly are still going. And they got a bit sexy. Gone are the dodgy teenage ties and blazers. Now they’re all biker jackets and electro beats – perhaps it’s the influence of new buddy Taio Cruz.
His chorus to this collaboration is a catchy plea of love-sick yearning, and as the gang test-drive their new style, complete with a video shot in a massive cage with semi-naked girls, you feel they might finally be coming of age... The lead one still has something funny about him though. 3/5
AH
1,2,3 – Little Cure
Chess Club
Their MySpace page says they're influenced by R&B, but they sound more like they bridge the gap between Vampire Weekend and MGMT. The vocals of lead singer Nic Reynolds are pleasingly raspy too, and owe much to the Marc Bolan school of singing.
But the chorus gets annoyingly repetitive, and it's highly predictable in where it's going. No doubt it's going to get stuck in my head for the rest of the day, but it's not exactly going to entertain me while it's there. 2.5/5
SB
Pink – Raise Your Glass
LaFace Records
I've always had a bit of a soft spot for Pink: songs like 'Just Like A Pill' were a guilty pleasure at school and I was always sneaking off to catch a glimpse of them on MTV while nobody was looking.
Anyway, fast forward ten years, my schoolboy crush has dissolved and I'm left with pure objectivity, hopefully. 'Raise Your Glass' is... average, that's all there is to say about it. It's not rubbish and it's not great: a bit like purgatory. 2/5
LG
B.O.B ft Rivers Cuomo – Magic
Atlantic
People like B.O.B. are the main reason why I can't tolerate daytime radio any more. I wasn't sure who this guy was before I heard this, but my research tells me that he claims that he doesn't "dumb his music down just to make a living". Really?
One good thing about this song is that it's so forgettable that within the hour I won't remember it, and for that reason, he gets a mark. 1/5
CW
Take That – The Flood
Polydor
Ahh Robbie, you had to go and ruin it, didn't you? You couldn't just be content to let Gary et al go on winning the hearts of the nation, could you? You just had to get your big, smug face back in the band, now they've got integrity and that. And sing lead vocals? Of course!
And how about the upcoming album? Is it all going to be like this? What am I going to buy my Mum for Christmas now Robbie? She never did like you. 1/5
SJ
Cheer up Soph's mum - here's Michael Cera's parody of Impossible is Nothing.
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