Spoonfed Singles Club with Wet Nuns, Marcus Collins and Ceremony

Spoonfed Singles Club with Wet Nuns, Marcus Collins and Ceremony

01 March, 2012
by: Music Team

New Releases - 5th March

Wet Nuns – Throttle
S/R

Throttle by Wet Nuns

Despite having a hilarious Spinal Tap sounding name, Wet Nuns certainly know how to throw it down. Throttle is the name of this weighty piece of ballsy metal which comes straight out of Sheffield.

The guitars sound like motorbikes (winner) as it chugs along steadily like the 18:46 to Doncaster. It's dirty, full of testosterone and smells of grease and iron - also much like the 18:46 to Doncaster. They wear their Sabbath influences on their sleeve, and I suspect probably their t-shirts. Great stuff 4/5
TA

Ceremony – Hysteria
Matador

Ceremony "Hysteria" by The1stFive

Now that Fucked Up have allegedly stopped touring and with Cerebral Ballzy being generally too horrible and gnarly to be loved by anyone over the age of 15 as well as Gallows replacing front man Frank Carter with the dude from Alexis on Fire, California’s Ceremony have emerged to fill the vacant ‘hardcore band-that-it’s-OK-for-indie-kids-to-like’ niche.

As a statement of intent, ‘Hysteria’ is really quite decent. Sounding like a cross between the Bad Brains and The Hives, I can almost see the fights this is going to cause whenever someone drops it at a student indie night already.  4/5
DH

Dingus Khan – Knifey/Spooney
FANDANGO

Dingus Khan - Knifey/Spoony (2012) by Badasstommyd

Why, on those occasions when you can't find a knife so you have to use a spoon, is Nutella the most dangerous thing to be in possession of? Dingus Khan have an understanding of this simple human joy, thinly veiled as a dilemma.

But they're quite literal about it and their frustration at this personal and social, culinary phenomena bring a shameful mediocrity to their music. For those of you who face the knifey/spooney problem when in possession of cake, know that a debit or indeed a credit card both work well. Simply wipe off any frosting after use. 3/5
NK

We Are Augustines – Chapel Song
Oxcart Records

We Are Augustines -- Chapel Song by vtbiccommx

Go and grab a pen and paper. Write the line “She's walking down the aisle/it feels just like a mile” add in a trusty “I shake like a leaf” compare yourself to a piece of bruised fruit, rhyme chapel with apple and Bob's your uncle - you've just written the worst song I've heard all week.

I feel sorry for the poor bloke having to watch his ex marry another man, but please don't pass the agony on to the record-buying public – it's not our fault. Musically there's a nice build up at the end, but unfortunately it doesn't save this from being a bona fide 'straight-to-Hollyoaks' number.  2/5
TA


Marcus Collins – Seven Nation Army
Sony

Seven Nation Army by MarcusCollins

Every cover song begs the question "was this really necessary?" Certain White Stripes covers - Nikka Costa's Denial Twist being a case in point - add much to the tune and are beautifully re-imagined versions of an original. Seven Nation Army had already been beautifully re-imagined by Alice Russell and Nostalgia 77 - a cover which was incredibly worthwhile and wholly justified.

Yes, you know where I'm going. This is butchery. A 2:56 hostage situation. 0/5
LC

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Music Team