Madame Tussauds

Madame Tussauds

21 July, 2008
by: Professor

This review was originally written for Spoonfed by one of our editors after too much coffee and, well, too many reviews. Mania had set in but it was generally agreed to be funny and true... However, Editorial Policy as passed down from the on high is that permanent listing content cannot contain swearing or blasphemy. Read on with this in mind...

Madame Tussauds
Marylebone Road
Seriously - book your tickets to Madame Tussauds before travelling. The queue is legendary and always stretches for a block, and that just isn't fun in this age of instant gratification. Speaking of the modern era, with God officially branded an unlikely-to-exist trouble maker, is it any wonder that so much of the world now devotes itself to the worship of celebrity? And Madame Tussauds is the Vatican of our trivialised society.

Everyone should go at least once so you can check out how good the waxworks are. They're really, truly awesome. There are some fun displays and themed exhibits like the chance to pretend you are an X Factor hopeful to an unusually impassive Simon, Sharon and Louis. Don't know who I mean? Then you'll be mystified by most of the modern wax works of second rate reality TV contestants. Although Jordan and her mammoth breasts have been really well done, she looks pretty.

Nobody should go twice because it's so expensive! Shockingly so. Try and get your parents to take you while you're a small child, and if that fails wait for a promotional day or something.

The other reason why everyone should go to Madame Tussauds is so that if they ever do ascend to a higher state of existence i.e. become famous, they will be able to imagine the paying crowds cooing at their lifelike mannequin on the red carpets of Tussauds. Fame! Who doesn't want to live forever?

Madame Tussauds - £30 a ticket. You're 'avin' a laarf!

First published 13 December 2006

Professor