In a field of his own: an interview with Milton Jones

In a field of his own: an interview with Milton Jones

24 May, 2011
by: Rupertspoonfed

Milton Jones speaks to Rupert Uzzell about his unique approach to stand-up, fresh from performing to a field of cows.

The day before I interview legendary king of the one-liners Milton Jones, there he is all over the news, performing stand-up to a field full of cows. Not many comedians can claim to have a large bovine following, so the first thing I ask him is how it feels to have broken into the cattle market (sorry), and how exactly the gig came about. “It all got a bit out of hand actually. I was doing a little viral ad for Laughing Cow cheese, and then ended up in Essex talking to a field full of cows on my birthday. Weirdest birthday I’ve ever had.”

It turns out that apparently cows aren’t overly receptive to stand-up comedy, and it took seven or eight takes to film the ad. “I got up there, spoke into the microphone with this proper PA system, and they all just bolted! Then we had to do it again and again, putting out hay and stuff on the stage to try and keep them there, whilst most of them treated the place like a toilet. It was a bit like Cardiff Jongleurs.”

He may be one of country’s most acclaimed stand-up comics, but amusingly, Jones sounds genuinely disappointed when he tells me, “We didn’t get much out of the cows. Once they got used to me, they were fine, but mainly we just got the odd moo and the occasional sound of someone crapping on someone else’s head.” This was in the face of such top material as, “So you cows say you’re vegetarians – but how come you all wear leather, eh?’

This sort of indifference to his act isn’t a problem Jones has to face often. He is currently at the height of his popularity, with a twenty year career behind him, numerous awards, regular television appearances and a heap of critical acclaim. His approach is to bowl over audiences with a string of superb one-liners, some of the best you’ll find on the circuit today. “Having a hand grenade you can chuck in quickly is very handy in terms of getting an audience going. The problem comes 15 minutes in, when blood starts to come out of people’s ears.” This is why if you see Jones for a full-length show, he breaks up the monotony with some different approaches to his joke-after-joke style. “I try and play some music, or have some pictures or do a character or something.”

He also often likes to play about with more visual moments of humour. “There’s one bit in the show I do at the moment where I’m showing some slides, and I say, ‘Right, I’m going to skip a bit now,’ and I literally skip from one side of the stage to the other. Those kinds of gags are really valuable; the different types of gag.” The characters he plays also provide some variation. “In the tour show at the moment, I play my grandad for fifteen minutes at the top, and there’s something about being a vulnerable old man that means people can’t boo you off.”

This is a common theme with Jones; playing to the audience’s sympathies to avoid a negative response. This includes his eccentric onstage appearance. “Playing a lower status character with funny hair allows you to be less intimidating. If I go to some rough old club somewhere, I come off far less threatening if I look like just a weirdo.” This has the added bonus of leaving any potential hecklers unprepared for his quick-witted responses. “There was always something about sticking my hair up and wearing a silly jumper that made hecklers feel like they could bully you from the start. And then, like a good supply teacher, you’d make an example of someone early on so that the others would know to behave themselves. It’s like a steel fist in a crocheted glove.”

It’s no surprise to discover that Jones has thought through every detail of his act so carefully, and the results speak for themselves. He’s one of the top stand-ups around on the circuit today, and will have you laughing till the cows come home.

Milton Jones: Lion Whisperer is at the Assembly Hall from 4th-11th August

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