The Underground Rebel Bingo Club at The Mission Room

The Underground Rebel Bingo Club at The Mission Room

29 September, 2008
by: Sherbet

Unless you have recently been absconded by a friend and taken to one of the many eclectic nights at The Mission Room, the chances of finding this joint on Exmouth Markets is nearly impossible. After several laps of the main thoroughfare and attempting to ask the alcohol-embellished office workers spilling out of the various pubs and restaurants, we had given up hope. However, as we started to make our way out of the street we saw a handful of smokers huddled around the outside of church catching a quick puff before hurrying through a side door marked in chalk with the words 'The Mission Room'.

Realising we had scrambled past this church several times; we followed the chicly dressed smokers into the church hall side door. Pitching a seat with three welcoming strangers, drinking cans of Czech brew at a cafe-style table near the front of the stage, we paid our £3 for a book of 3 games and received an overtly large marker to stamp out the numbers.

As the red velvet curtains peel back, they reveal a top hat-clad Trevor Lock, a surreal and obscure stand-up comedian whose various nights such as 'Trevor Lock's Philosophy Society' seem to draw in a peculiar set of Londoners, the kind that will never completely understand the joke but will contemplate the joke's existence all the same. Welcoming us into the church's 'AGM', he whispers for the doors to be locked and for the meeting to commence. Once our attendance is noted, Lock comes to life with the history of tonight's banned bingo evening, and us as pledging conspirators. We're informed that in 1657, Oliver Cromwell outlawed London's only bingo club, driving its members underground.

Getting straight to business, we're greeted by two alternative-looking Barbie doll hostesses, Lucretsia and Chikita, whose stunning 80s-inspired sequinned outfits, that are changed after every game, dazzle us at moments when we're uninterested by the goings-on on stage.

Sticking to the much-loved traditional format of bingo, the picked numbers are furiously yelled out by one of the girls with the usual tag lines 'legs eleven' and the not so usual 'You’re grandmother’s a whore - 84'. At times, the heavy Essex-style accents disguise the numbers, causing much confusion. However, Lock stands to the side of the stage, legs crossed as if leaning on a cane, repeating the calls with delightful anecdotes in relation to the numbers such as '41: The year when Hitler declared war on the US'.

Creating a bohemian 'panto' atmosphere with shout outs from the audience and in-between acts such as the king of yoyo, Aaron Sparks, we’re constantly entertained with the unusual antics, an 80s power ballad soundtrack and an airline-looking drinks bar, complete with airline sized drinks, keeping us lubricated.

Coming into this with not only the intention of reviewing the night but also winning one of the spectacular prizes, we study the numbers before us with great intent. Furiously watching people’s boards around us to see how filled they were, we are met with 'evil' eyes hoping to secure the same prize. Unlike a typical night at a Mecca bingo hall, tonight's prizes from iwantoneofthose.com are weird and wacky, exactly in tune with the night’s proceedings. There's a retro DAB radio, umbrella with fairy lights sprinkled above or a iPod alarm clock to name but a few. The kind of stuff you really want but never need.

Whether you're a hardened bingo connoisseur with the set intention of winning a handful of prizes on the night, or someone who enjoys live music, bizarre acts and laughs shared with friends, the Underground Rebel Bingo Club proves that anything can become chic if said with a 'hush hush'. Even though the night seems like a well-rehearsed school production, this Spoonfed Editor is a definite fan and wants to buy the t-shirt.

Keen for more? See more about:

London Bingo
London Pubs
London Events

Sherbet