Go...Monopoly

Go...Monopoly

21 July, 2008
by: Spoonfed

If you have a penchant for drinking games then you would have attempted the Monopoly board pub crawl at one time or another. The board game version was THE iconic children's wet-weather pastime where you would greedily try to spin the dice in a certain way in order to hog Mayfair and Park Lane and place hotels before anyone got near to landing on your square. Apparently over 750 million of us have been playing it since 1935.  

Now we're supposedly adults with responsibility, too busy to dream of monopolizing the world, except for the likes of Bill Gates. Let Spoonfed take you back to the age of carefree amusement on a hunt for London's real Monopoly board.

To do this, you'll need to buy a zone one to two travelcard (this saves wear on your pocket in the long run) and a tube map or A to Z to help find your way around this fair city. The itinerary has been broken into two days so you're not left huddled under the arch of Pall Mall wishing you'd never heard of the Parker Brothers.

Instead of making you travel over 50 miles of tube line in order to hit every coloured street and utility, we're going for a monopoly theme: battleship, Scottish terrier, top hat and a few of the popular roads.

Now, where to start? If you've joined us for our Friday adventure we suggest you start at GO, being Somerset House for the Skin + Bones fashion exhibition setting our first event at the Thimble. To get the ball running in the thematic department, we believe you should buy a bottle of the Black and White whisky, which features conveniently the humble Scottie dog, and maybe a mixer to help get it down the throat. As Boris has put a damper on tube cocktail hour, we suggest partaking in the refreshment between tube stops.

And for the Community Chest, one of our live music editors, wishing to remain nameless, argued to send you to Stringfellows Strip Club in Upper Saint Martin's Lane, where you can directly go to jail without passing GO if you get too involved and touch the lovely ladies.

Watch all those pulsating bodies definitely works up an appetite so score a dose of iron at Leicester Square in Ed's diner and whilst you're there you might be lucky enough to see a film premiere with a celebrity arriving in a swanky racing car. All depends on your roll of the dice.

What would the game be without landing on Chance, we're pulling out a random Architectural Jelly Banquet at UCL. It's not a beauty contest but it'll do. Take the Northern line to Euston and watch as nervous competitors test their jello-making abilities against hundreds of other teams. Run by architectural foodsmiths (yes, that's their actual job title) Bompas & Parr, jelly-wearing performers will dance amongst the crowd and thousands of commissioned jelly sculptures. Plus there's jelly wrestling. Tempting? From there we venture on to buy more coveted land.  

Put your hand up if you always played as the Top Hat! To finish our tip down memory board lane for the night we suggest you give the Lady Luck Club at Platinum a go. A monthly treasure, don your hat, or feather boa, for an eclectic evening of fancy dress, live bands and all out dancing.

Click here to check out a map of the day's gaming and to tally up your riches.

Not starting too early on the Saturday as, if you joined us on the Friday night escapade, you'll be pretty buggered. If you're a lover of competition then you must give ChessBoxing a try. Consisting of alternate rounds of four minute chess matched with three minutes of boxing, it is described as 'a combination of a premier thinking sport and the premier fighting sport'.

Time to eat and therefore pay the income tax. Instead of the £200 usually held for the game, hit London Pride in Trafalgar Square. Filled with market and food stalls, colourful and gyrating gay and lesbian Londoners, you're sure to find a bit of meat to sink your teeth into.

If you seem to be monopolizing the dosh and leaving the other competitors poor we suggest you buy the cheapest ticket at the door of the Old Vic for Sir Peter Hall's production of Pygmalion. Never has there been a better rags-to-riches tale.  

Before you head off to the club, you must embellish your tired feet with a pair of the finest shoes from bespoke shoemakers John Lobb in Jermyn Street. As it's right across from Pall Mall, you can tick that off you score card.

Not always the most valuable but reaping the rewards in the end, where would we be without a utility. To trendy Hoxton Square we go riding the noble steed (or tube) down the Northern line to Electricity Showrooms for a night of pure unadulterated vintage. If the idea of a costumed affair doesn't make you want to roll the dice, have a look at our next destination.

So we could have sent you to the HMS Belfast for a tour of the deck or to the National Maritime Museum for the Simon Patterson exhibition. Instead we thought you deserved a frisky float on the Thames. Kinky Malinki & Elevada are infamous for their summer boat parties. Starting at The Golden Jubilee at Temple Pier the night proceeds to Scala until the wee hours of the morning.
 
If you're not satisfied by the night and feel there's more monopoly to be had we suggest Hewitt Street Car Park for free parking at Neon Noise Project. Not exactly free as advance tickets cost 13 quid but you get the idea.

Make sure you pass go and collect the £200.  

Spoonfed