"Let's work together"
A number of key players in the electronic dance music scene have formed a committee to ensure the protection and promotion of EDM worldwide.
The group, who toyed with the names 'The Popular Electronic Music Front', 'The People's Front of Electronic Music' and 'The Front for Electronic Popular Music', will be made up of top brass in the global EDM market, including a lawyer, a sunglasses salesman, somebody from The Hills, and Jive Bunny.
The group's musical ambassador Paris Hilton was unavailable for comment but her spokesperson said "we just hope they keep the gays out".
One member, EDM pioneer Billy Big Bollocks, said "Dance music is a global phenomenon. If you'd said five years ago that a bloke in a mouse costume could stand on stage pumping his fist and become one of the world's biggest selling music stars I'd have said you were mad, but now thanks to EDM that's become possible. We want to make sure these artists are getting the credibility they deserve."
The group have stated their aim is to ensure "we make as much bloody money as possible out of these wankers before somebody realises what we're doing" as well as "keeping it real for the fans".
None of the above is true in the slightest. This is what actually happened
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