Roses are red, Spoonfed is cool, read this article, or you're a fool.
To some it's a day to cherish your loved one and show them how much they mean to you. To others, it's an event dreamt up by fancy restaurants to make decent folk part with their hard earned cash. Either way, it's here, so there's no point burying our heads in the sand and hoping the entire population of London might forget this year, it's time to get organised.
Look at it this way, without random bursts of insincere romance Hugh Grant wouldn't have a career, and are you going to send his children out on the street? No, so here are a few ideas of things to do this year whether you're coupled up, single, or plotting murderous revenge on your ex.
13th-15th / 21st - 23rd Feb
Eat Your Heart Out Pop-Up @ Dalston Boy's Club
So maybe you want to go for dinner with your loved one, but all this modern day schmoozery just isn't for you. Don't worry, The Art of Dining pop-up people are bringing Eat Your Heart Out to Dalston. The event is created around the theme of Victorian intrigue, offering a 5 course menu in a specially designed 19th century underworld. If you're lucky you might get a peek under her bloomers. If you're unlucky you might catch typhoid and die in the workhouse.
Thursday 14th Feb
Valentines Speed Hating @ The Blues Kitchen
You can get ridiculously drunk and eat large amounts of bacon, or you can have a boyfriend or girlfriend. You can't usually do both. If you've chosen the former, The Blues Kitchen's Anti Valentine's Speed Hating night is for you. Booze, food, music and games all night. "We make bacon, not love" is the tagline. Well said.
Thursday 14th Feb
In The Beginning There Was The End @ Somerset House
This isn't strictly Valentine's themed but looks pretty cool, which could be a bonus if you're not into the whole red roses and chocolates business. In The Beginning There Was The End is an interactive journey through the depths of Somerset House, through disused tunnels and walkways inspired by da Vinci's drawing 'A Cloudburst of Material Possessions'. Good for couples and singletons, plus there's male and female nudity involved in the show, which sounds promising already.
Thursday 28th Feb
The Wheel of Date @ London Eye
Date people Doing Something are taking over every capsule of the London Eye to present 32 different dates for 500 of the capital's eligible singletons. Split into groups of 16, each pod is being taken over by a different activity for one entire rotation of the wheel, giving the group inside the chance to mingle, chat and flirt outrageously for one whole hour - you could be doing anything from playing table football to watching a comedy performance. Just don't get too acquainted, remember people can see into those pods. Save that for the afterparty at the Old Vic Tunnels.
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