Our guide to throwing the ultimate office kegger!
If you’ve ever had a look at our critics page, you’ll know that here at Spoonfed our staff are extremely intelligent, funny, and let’s be frank, downright sexy. Exactly the kind of people you don’t mind having a festive party with. Our Christmas parties are sound tracked by No Age and Tame Impala and shit like that. We’re so cool we don’t even have a photocopier, but if we did you can bet we’d be getting hot and heavy on it in a way that would make you envious and a little bit turned on in a non creepy way.
Other workplaces are not so lucky. Instead, they are forced to contend with glasses of warm grog, Barry from accounts giving them a rundown of the year’s quarterly projections (with accompanying slideshow) and a nervous new starter who drinks too much punch and vomits on the bathroom floor. Enough is enough we say. This year, turn off the Cliff Richard and take control of the party yourself. That way you can do stuff like this…
Ice Skating
Friendships can be won and lost on the ice, she’s a cruel mistress, but personally, nothing gets us in the festive spirit faster than watching our colleagues humiliated by trying to complete a figure of eight and ending up with a face full of slush. It’s also good for inter office flirting as you can pretend to be unsteady on your feet and cling to the cutie from marketing for all your life is worth. Offer to buy them a hot chocolate with marshmallows afterwards and they’ll be putty in your frozen hands.
Paint Ball
Paint Ball is awesome Office Christmas party fodder for 2 main reasons. Firtsly, work is pretty stressful most of the time, and over the last 12 months someone has bound to have pissed you off because they were late with their report or didn't fill up the coffee when they're finished. Well, know you can have your petty revenge by shooting them in the face with a gas-powered weapon.
The second reason is a bit more subtle. You know how every office has that TA guy who thinks of himself as a bit of an account managing version of Rambo? Yeah, you know who we mean. Like real war, paint ball has no respect of egos or status. Just hand this dude a gun and prepare to laugh manically when little Chloe wastes him when he's not looking. Funniest. Thing. Ever.
Photography
It’s a fact that everyone secretly wants to be a photographer. Plus, everyone loves getting pissed. Why not combine the two with a photography social? The night goes a little something like this- you pay £10 and meet at a pre-arranged pub where you are divided into small groups and set a photography challenge. An hour later over some pints and jager bombs you review the results as a group and win some prizes. Plus, did we mention you get to spend a lot of time in the pub?
Sushi class
If like us, you gaze in wonder at sushi chefs expertly going about their business and wonder how they’re able to be so quick fingered and efficient when you can’t even eat a burrito without having to call in the dry cleaners then wonder no more. A sushi class will answer all your questions and have you crafting a salmon California roll that would have John Torode gasping in ecstacy.
Sushi making classes are original and hands on and provide more opportunity for inter office flirting (sample dialogue-“ how about you sashimi over here and give me a kiss”, “the wasabi isn’t the only thing that’s hot on this convyer belt” etc..etc..) Classes run all over the capital but these guys seem to offer some of the best value for money. £60 may seem like a lot but all ingredients are included, you get to take home what you make and you also get a meal and wine after your 2 hr course.
Burlesque
Burlesque seems to be everywhere right now. You can’t walk thirty paces without someone twirling nipple tassels in your eye. Maybe it’s something about the recession that’s given us a hankering for some prohibition era supper club glamour. Whatever it is, this is an art form (for the ladies) and a chance to watch girls get their kit off while pretending that you’re appreciating it as an art form (for the men) Burlesque, cabaret and supper clubs abound in London and many offer classes beforehand (although they are mostly female only for obvious reasons) If you fancy bringing a bit of old world glamour to your Christmas do or just fancy an opportunity to get a bit Danny Le Roux (and let’s face it, who doesn’t) this could be the ideal solution to your christmas party tedium.
Happy holidays folks.
Warm up those vocal chords for office karaoke with our favourite Christmas Songs
Need some inspiration? Check out the frankly awesome Keggersoryore.com
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