We publish the diaries of Adam Hillmore as he honours one of the best movie stars of all time with all the cautious enthusiasm he can muster.
Celebrating a woman who still looks great at the age of 88, Lip Service are performing Desperate to be Doris, a musical tribute to to the former Hollywood starlet who now kicks ass as a champion of animal welfare. Well not literally kicks ass because that wouldn't make sense... In the run up to the show's opening at artsdepot, we're publishing the diary of singer Adam Hillmore who reveals exactly what it takes to be Doris.
“When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, “What will I be?” Here's what she said to me: 'Whatever will be, will be. The future’s not ours to see. Que sera, sera.'”
Not the most useful career advice I’ve ever heard, I’ll be honest, but that’s how it happened for Doris Day. I, on the other hand, have never been a little girl, and my mum certainly didn’t tell me that I would be singing about whips and boozing while pretending to be a horse in front of an audience of strangers. However, that’s what I will be doing during the last week of November at artsdepot. This is what I'm on about...
September
I'm one of the local backing singers (or “community choir”) for a production of the musical Desperate to be Doris. Despite a plea that we need more men (well, who doesn’t?) there are only four of us among over fifteen women. Now there’s no chance of me getting away with being drowned out by the others, so unfortunately, I’ll actually have to sing well. Or mime. Or just not turn up.
There were more men to begin with but, due to budget cuts, we had to let them go. And they weren’t very good, let’s be frank. You'll see them at the performance though; they'll be happy to sing a song to you about the flavours of the ice cream that they'll be selling in the interval.
Tom, our musical director, began our first rehearsal by telling us about singing. He then tells us how to breathe of all things. Well, this is going to be easy, isn’t it? Later on, he asks us to sing “Popocatepetl” more and more quickly, insisting that we will be able to do it by the time we get to the show. I reckon it would be easier to climb that Mexican volcano than to sing the name of it at high speed.
October
Early on in rehearsals, Tom recommends that we bring in Dictaphones. Mine has been very useful in reminding me which notes I should be singing and how the tunes go. I made one recording of him teaching us which note to start on by singing a long “Aaaaah”, similar to what you might expect an opera about going to the doctor’s to sound like. I need to know the music off by heart soon so that I don’t rely on the recordings, otherwise I’ll start seeing an image of Tom in his vest and pants being asked to cough. Not sure that’s going to help me concentrate.
Rachel, the choreographer, showed us a video of the show in Manchester, in which the community choir were wearing tabards and hard hats. Note to self – don’t start singing Bob the Builder at this point. Popocatepetl, Popocatepetl, Popacapin…no, I still can’t do it. I’ll have it nailed by next month.
November
We’ve got to know each other’s names and a bit about each other now, through the ingenious combination of name badges and a riotous game of Twister. We have someone who has sung professionally at Glyndebourne, someone who saw a friend in an earlier production and thought they’d have a go, and someone who saw an extreme makeover programme on the TV and is now actually desperate to be Doris.
Now that we know the songs well, Rachel takes us through the dances that accompany each one. On one occasion, she says, as if it were completely normal, “You’re all daffodils at this point.” Hang on, isn’t the children’s play area downstairs? Popocatepetl, Popocatepetl, Pocahontas…oh forget it. It’s not in the show anyway. The opening night isn’t far away now, when people will be able to join us in singing a few Doris Day favourites (hopefully loudly enough for me not to be heard) so here goes. Whatever will be, will be…
Desperate to be Doris runs at artsdepot from 25th November.
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