"A strangely void experience." David Hoyle and Richard Thomas' Christmas cabaret leaves Stevie Martin underwhelmed.
You know when your mad uncle gets drunk at Christmas and says something deeply inappropriate about elves? It's hysterical, yes. And subsequently, nothing like this bizarre "filthy" cabaret bonanza from Richard Thomas – creator, composer and co-writer of Jerry Springer: The Opera – and accomplished performer David Hoyle of Channel 4's Nathan Barley and The Divine David Presents fame.
There are rape jokes about Santa, reindeers with cocaine addictions, a Christmas tree decorated with bags of meth, coke and condoms and as many references to anal sex as they can possibly fit in without yelling it over and over again. Oh, wait, one of songs does actually end like this. Couldn't tell you which one because they're all fairly similar. A real shame considering Richard Thomas's previous credits.
Hoyle is also talented, this just isn't a good demonstration of what he's capable of. Wrapping his impressive, slightly gravelly singing chops around indistinguishable Christmas tunes that contain reference to drugs, being gay or death, the result is vaguely "shocking" as opposed to genuinely funny or affecting. The dance sequences are presumably supposed to be subpar but aren't funny enough to work, instead coming across as merely lacklustre. Often, the references used are weirdly outdated – an extended story between the musical numbers involves Myra Hindley and Rosemary West. Hardly cutting edge stuff there, guys.
Thomas plays the ivories and takes on the role of straight man, setting up Hoyle between songs and occasionally contributing to harmonies, while Hoyle sometimes sits, sometimes stands, sometimes dances, sometimes sings. Complete with amusingly droll facial expressions beneath garish make-up, the uninspired songs are sometimes lifted by audience interaction. Hoyle's delivery does eke out some laughter – a budding romance forced between him and an audience member works mainly because of his offbeat timing. It offsets the strained campness of the whole affair just enough to make stomach's drop when the piano starts. Oh, more references to meth. And being queer. And meth again.
Yes, it's quite strained. Adorned with baubles and sporting a tight, sequinned red dress, you're supposed to be moved when Hoyle touches on more serious, current issues, and Thomas attempts to drown him out by singing "camp it up, David". Oh, they're commenting on our culture of apathy. Or are they? The song peters out minus any punchlines, jokes or interesting elements. Another, called 'Gays In The Army', showcases a classic Carry On-esque bit of comedy piano-playing, but degenerates into Hoyle miming having sex with a dead body after defecating on it. Nobody really laughs because it's not really that funny. It's more confusing than shocking.
One of the highlights amid the anal gags comes when Hoyle pulls up a chair to sing a touching and funny ballad under the spotlight about his terrible childhood, called 'Crying At Christmas'. The lyrics are clever (top marks to Thomas for sprinkling knowing originality onto such tired topics as getting drunk with friends at 21), the refrain is catchy and, for the first time, there's some real emotion present.
Throughout the songs, Hoyle appears to be sort of coasting; there's no emotion, just vaguely shocking actions half-heartedly delivered. Oh look he's talking about how he listened to kids being raped at the BBC and thought they were filming for Grange Hill. More dated references aside, nobody laughs apart from the inebriated and the slightly embarrassed. Mainly because it's predictably 'shocking'.
The show ends at the fifty-five minute mark after an encore where the pair perform one of the earlier songs again and leave. A fitting end for a strangely void experience – it's rather difficult to applaud considering the price of the ticket, the talent of the people involved, and the end result.
David Hoyle and Richard Thomas: Merrie Hell is at the Soho Theatre at 9:30pm until Saturday 5th January
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