London Weekends: Budget in Battersea

London Weekends: Budget in Battersea

18 September, 2008
by: Street Team

We're taking it back to the old school this week with our itinerary. No skydiving, no dead body gimmicks and definitely nothing that costs more than a tenner.

The itinerary would work any weekend but we've been inspired to tackle Battersea by the SCRATCH Festival, which runs on long weekends over the next fortnight. It's an open-to-all drama and cabaret workshop with performances worked out, rehearsed and performed each day along with a host of other activities in this rambling, beautiful venue. What's more, participants are invited to 'pay what you can' which loosely translates around Spoonfed HQ as 'nothing'.

So grab your A to Z, some sunblock (the weather forecast is great) and an umbrella (this is England) and get ready to enjoy the best of Battersea… without breaking the bank.

Right! We're kicking off the day with a hearty breakfast and a walk. What's that you snivelling milksops? Can't stomach the black pudding? Can't face the walk? Well, unfortunately this isn't the army and we can't make you, so feel free to skip the next paragraph, pansies.

Breakfast is right next to Battersea Park Rail at Bridge the Gap, a wonderfully plastic café with formica tables, bright lighting and massive portions. Gorge on their full English. You've already achieved a lot today.

Time to hit the park, that's Battersea Park, right by the river. It's a beautiful spot, with great views over the Thames. You can stroll to the middle of the embankment and check out the giant Buddha. If you're lucky there'll be monks praying quietly on the steps of the monument. Either way, it's a photo opportunity.

For those of you who are inclined to get active, there are all-day roller-skate lessons in the park run by Easy Peasy Skate. It's not easy peasy of course, it's a nerve-shredding and deeply dangerous way to spend your time, constantly overshadowed by the prospect of face planting onto the asphalt or (our favourite) doing the involuntary splits. But don't let that put you off. The lessons are free, which segues pretty sweetly with our skinflint theme.

More sensible souls, and animal lovers, will prefer to visit the Battersea Children's Zoo. (Although there's plenty of time to do both, and they're both free.) We feel 'Children's Zoo' is a bit of an unfair name – the place is suitable for youngsters but we don't think, just because we love the lemurs, the meerkats and the peacocks, that we're children. Except inside, at a metaphysical level, obviously.

Now, the SCRATCH Festival kicks off from 5pm, and unless you were up with the lark you'll be wanting to head down there pretty soon. It's a fairly informal do though, and there's an exhibition by Milena Dragijevic in the Pumphouse Gallery which you can check out without even leaving the park. Why not get a dose of culture to charge you up before you mingle with all those arty types?

The main event! It's a short hop from the park to the BAC. If you've never been, the venue itself is worth a visit and this weekend there's a programme of participation events, workshops and performances. Aspiring thespians and writers will want to get in on the action early doors, or you might just want to see what people are doing and perhaps watch an entirely new and improvised show as night turns into evening. To the uninitiated this may all sound a bit chaotic but SCRATCH really know their stuff and these events go with a bang. To make sure of it, there'll be plenty of cabaret and live music going on and lashings of that creative lubricant, alcohol. There's also a superb 'paper cinema' show, Night Flyer kicking off at 9pm.

In case you get a bad case of rage when someone criticises your script idea, or if you've enjoyed Battersea but feel too exhausted to participate fully, why not give your brain a rest and get some simple, filthy laughs at Jongleurs Battersea? This is the first and arguably best of the Jongleurs chain, with great line ups every night , and they hide a dark secret – it's less than a tenner (£9) if you just turn up and insist you don't need a table, a waiter or any of that crap. Just beer, and laughs.

Alright! That's a busy day if you do half the stuff we've recommended but there's always time for a bit of late night drunken dancing. You can ride the 14, the 49 or the 211 to the delights of Brixton or Clapham, but since you're in Battersea, why not check out the Artesian Well? It's arty, friendly and has plenty of space for sitting down or bouncing around, with great resident DJs on the weekend.

That's it for this trip. If you spend more than £20 you obviously can't control yourself around food, drink and souvenirs. We hope you have a blast in Battersea. It's a seriously underrated part of town.


Check out the BAC's schedule

See a list of our London Weekend guides, ranging from sensible, to stylish, to downright silly

Looking for more? Click here for all upcoming London events.

Street Team