Weekend Guides: Monopoly Tour

Weekend Guides: Monopoly Tour

01 August, 2008
by: Street Team

If you have a penchant for drinking games then you would have attempted the Monopoly pub crawl at one time or another. The board game was THE iconic children's wet-weather pastime where you would greedily try to spin the dice in a certain way in order to hog Mayfair and Park Lane and place hotels before anyone got near to landing on your square. Apparently over 750 million of us have been playing it since 1935.

Now we're supposedly adults with responsibility, too busy to dream of monopolising the world, except for the likes of Bill Gates. Let Spoonfed take you back to the age of carefree amusement on a hunt for London's real Monopoly board.

To do this, you'll need to buy a zone one to two travelcard (this saves wear on your pocket in the long run) and a tube map or A to Z to help find your way around this fair city. As the route is pretty extensive, with 28 pubs in all, you perhaps want to limit your alcohol intake to half a pint per pub so you're not left huddled under the arch of Pall Mall wishing you'd never heard of the Parker Brothers.

As you will be starting your tour at a sprightly 10.30 in the morning to ensure maximum pub coverage, you need to find a pub near Old Kent Road that is open. Our suggestion is The George on Tower Bridge Road, as it has adapted its opening times to fit with the tour. They probably count themselves lucky that they are faced with the fresh faced sober participants, rather than the messy results of a 12 hour stint of drinking. After having a swift half, head down to The Vibe Bar, near Whitechapel. Enjoy the Ikea interior and selection of beers before moving on to the next leg of the money race.

Next on the list are those all important blues, and, as in the game, they are necessary yet not that impressive. Start with The Angel, which is perhaps the lesser of three evils, so you may want to make it a full pint here and savour the peace before you head on to O'Neills bar on Euston Road. A bit of a drink and run situation, as you need to save some time for the big guns later on. To tick off Pentoville road, pop in The Castle, but again you might not want to hang around.

Moving on to the slightly more respectable council house Pinks, head to The Red Lion near Pall Mall. Here you will appreciate the advice to stick to halves, as the stairs are a little hard to negotiate even sober. Perhaps this is a good point to hand the map to the least inebriated of the bunch, and start the trek to The Lord Moon of the Mall.

After you've rested your weary legs and parched your thirst it's time to head onto Northumberland Avenue, to a mysterious little place called the Sherlock Holmes. Though it may be lacking in five star entertainment, it gets the job done.

Onto the Oranges and half way through the mess now. It's time for O'Neills take two. Don't worry, you've not just lapsed into a state of unconciousness, it's another in the chain. Take a moment to prepare yourself for the barrage of punters at The Marquis of Anglesey and head down to Bow Street, before heading to yet another O'Neills on Malborough Street. If you find yourself thinking "I'm on a ruddy O'Neills pub crawl" fear not, this is the last one.

Next up is Vine Street, where there are a myriad of good places to eat around, so maybe now would be a good time to line that stomach against the alcoholic onslaught that is still yet to come. Try Bar FM for some classic pub grub, or for you cheepskates, there's a MacDonalds up the road. Hunger appeased, head to the red side of town, where you'll find a nice little selection of pubs, little being the operative word here. Choice venues for the crawl are The Fly, Ku Bar and Halfway to Heaven.

As you head into the posh yellow territory, maybe now is time to bump off the stumblers, as many pubs from now on have been known to shout "your moneys no good here punk!" when you drunkenly wave your Monopoly money at the bouncer.

Now is time to practice your posh gait and do your best ab fab posh drawl as you head to the somewhat pretentious All Bar One in Regent Street. Expect some general footballer types with the obligatory WAG hanger-ons. The Spread Eagle and the Hogshead should counteract the posh totty that were so openly disgusted with your drunken antics at All Bar One, so settle in for a homely pint in each.

Nearly there...If you've made it this far without falling into an alcohol induced coma, you one incredibly determined young alky, and deserve a celebratory drink...perhaps not. If you can handle going all out for a glass of champers, the best places to head are Dover Street Wine Bar or Mahiki, which leaves you at Mayfair, and at the end of our alcohol tour of London.

If you have managed to stay out of jail and collect 200 pound for passing go, you can consider the day pretty successful. Though it may have made a hefty dent in your wallet, hopefully you will have fond memories in the morning, that's if your memory is still intact...

Click here to check out a map of the day's gaming and to tally up your riches.
Click here to make sure you pass go and collect the £200.
Spoonfed is a complete London events listings website. Click here for London events.

Street Team