Weekend Guides: Sacrifice in the City

As tonight is the summer solstice, we've decided that this weekend's itinerary should have a pagan theme to it. The only problem is that London was built in Roman times, and for some weird reason Druids and Wiccans don't seem to go for that sort of thing.

Luckily we've stumbled across the fact that there is a temple to the Roman God Mithras parked slap bang in the middle of the Square Mile. For those who don't know, Mithras was a god revered by Roman soldiers for being a middle man between the Sun (heaven) and The Moon (the underworld). Legend has it he was born of an egg, and lived in hardship in his box of a cave until he managed to catch a primeval bull and rend all of the useful things like fire, grain and cattle from it, whilst a mythical scorpion stung its balls (seriously, there's a statue of this called the Tauroctony). He also banquets with the sun and the moon a lot; so logic dictates that he would be quite into the solstice, after all it's the one night a year where the sun can stay up late.

The best thing is that his religion was a complete mystery,which comes in handy when coming up with a worship plan. The only stipulation is that we have to eat a meal at his temple, as most of the ones dug up have feasting couches in them.

Therefore, the idea is this; we kick off at 6pm, charge our worship points up with plenty of red wine (which is a modern substitute for bull's blood), make the annual sacrifice of food, and then ram it home with more sacrificial wine. Make sure you wear red or green- it's the God's favourite colour.

Right, we've got until 10am tomorrow to make sure this deity is satisfied. Let's start with what any Roman god loves more than smiting people, wine. Vinopolis; City of Wine seems a good place to get some of the grape, although this place is quite well to do, so we'll have to save the rowdiness until later. Try to stick to red, we don't want to anger Him at this early stage.

Next thing we need to do is indulge in a bit of theatre as both the Romans and the Greeks thought that actors were well awesome. The Shunt Vaults are a short stroll down the river and their surrealist Crocosmia play that kicks off at 7:00 is the closest thing you can get to an absurdist Greek comedy without moving to Thebes or staying in the theatre 12:30. Keep the wine flowing, we need that blood sacrifice.

Next up we'll need to cross London Bridge. Make sure to throw a coin in the river, as that is Celtic tradition, but don't worry about the amount, we're sure the Gods aren't familiar with modern money. After that we're off for some more red wine at The London Stone which is a gothic theme pub, set nearby to the mythical London Stone from which the Romans measured in all the distances in Britain.

You've probably been spending quite a bit on wine recently, that's why we're moving on for Apt for Appropriate for…Party, an orgy of disco, house and pop where we can work ourselves up into a pagan frenzy and hopefully drink a bit less because we're dancing.

Roll on 11:30 and it's time to get down to business. Grab some food from Imperial City and head over to the Temple of Mithras to honour Him in the old fashioned way by munching take away at midnight. Please note though, you won't be able to eat inside the temple, the squares at The British Museum have closed it off, but you can scarf your chow mien outside.

Right now that that's done with we need to drive the message home with a few hours of Romanesque partying. First up is an optional bit of decadent naked lady ogling at Whites Gentleman's Club (You'll need to haul ass, it's a 15 minute walk) after all every ancient god loves a bit of erotic dancing. After that we suggest hitting up either The Rhythm Factory on Whitechapel Road or the Abbey Bar where you can drink some of the free red wine they allegedly provide and dance like Helots to a raft of party tunes. If you're not into burlesque you can skip straight to the pub.

Come 4:00 we're heading over to Departure in Aldgate for NuBreedz; another couple of hours of Nero-style debauchery to a soundtrack of underground techno. You can come off the red wine now; Mithras's lust for blood is satisfied.

Leave at 9:30 and head over the City Corner Café on Middlesex Street to for some beans on toast; which you can eat with the smug knowledge that a Roman deity has got your back for a year.

Check out the map here

Dominic Haley

Looking for more to do? Check out all upcoming London events. Photo by Chuckup.