Tom Jeffreys
Film taste: Glengarry Glen Ross, Gladiator, Philadelphia Story
Music taste: kraftwerk, serge gainsbourg, smiths, girls aloud, pogues, justice, zz top
Hangout: The Hare
Most likes (about London): Savile Row
Least likes: overuse of the present continuous
Me in 10 words: concise
Reviews
artist Bryan Ferry
Thursday, 04 February
SINGLES OF THE WEEK - 8th February 2010
DJ Hell feat. Bryan Ferry – U Can Dance
Gigolo
If I'm really honest, the thought of Bryan Ferry utilising text speak or ‘raving’ basically shatters my entire world view. Everything that had hitherto been a reassuring constant in my life now collapses into a messy pile of ideological rubble.
I mean, what next? Edward VIII was a tranny? Brogues aren't real? Urgh, 'tis too much. Luckily much of this worry is assuaged by the track itself. Cold, slick and seductive, it's both classic Ferry and ideal for Berlin Fashion Week. Sehr chic ja. 4/5
DJ Hell feat. Bryan Ferry – U Can Dance
Gigolo
If I'm really honest, the thought of Bryan Ferry utilising text speak or ‘raving’ basically shatters my entire world view. Everything that had hitherto been a reassuring constant in my life now collapses into a messy pile of ideological rubble.
I mean, what next? Edward VIII was a tranny? Brogues aren't real? Urgh, 'tis too much. Luckily much of this worry is assuaged by the track itself. Cold, slick and seductive, it's both classic Ferry and ideal for Berlin Fashion Week. Sehr chic ja. 4/5
artist French Kissing
Wednesday, 27 January
Literally cannot wait til these guys next play!
artist Sugababes
Thursday, 05 November
SINGLES REVIEWS - 9th November 2009
Sugababes – About a Girl
Island Records
It's true, yes. I have a bit of a soft spot for the Sugababes – with tracks like 'Round, Round', 'Hole in the Head', 'In the Middle', 'Push the Button' and... oh ok that's probably it, but they were really good back in 2003.
Well this new track is appalling. Oddly it sounds like the Vengaboys, but with even more baffling lyrics: 'Girls bring the fun of life, sugar like apple pie, take a trip to paradise, let's have a party-oh!' Oh. Dear. 1/5
Sugababes – About a Girl
Island Records
It's true, yes. I have a bit of a soft spot for the Sugababes – with tracks like 'Round, Round', 'Hole in the Head', 'In the Middle', 'Push the Button' and... oh ok that's probably it, but they were really good back in 2003.
Well this new track is appalling. Oddly it sounds like the Vengaboys, but with even more baffling lyrics: 'Girls bring the fun of life, sugar like apple pie, take a trip to paradise, let's have a party-oh!' Oh. Dear. 1/5
artist Beyoncé
Thursday, 29 October
SINGLES REVIEWS - 2nd Nov 2009
Oh Beyoncé. Black and white, on a beach, sea-wet hair, rose petals, chap in flowing white linens. Yes, the video’s not dissimilar to an episode of one of those weird American soap things from the '90s. The Bold and the Beautiful – is that the one I'm thinking of?
But the song? Well I'm a Rihanna fan and therefore biased. But it’s good if you like heartfelt but slightly bland ballad things about break-ups and stuff. Another sure-fire hit. 3/5
Oh Beyoncé. Black and white, on a beach, sea-wet hair, rose petals, chap in flowing white linens. Yes, the video’s not dissimilar to an episode of one of those weird American soap things from the '90s. The Bold and the Beautiful – is that the one I'm thinking of?
But the song? Well I'm a Rihanna fan and therefore biased. But it’s good if you like heartfelt but slightly bland ballad things about break-ups and stuff. Another sure-fire hit. 3/5
artist Miley Cyrus
Wednesday, 28 October
SINGLES REVIEWS - 26th Oct 2009
Miley Cyrus – Party in the USA
Hollywood Records
Wow. Miley Cyrus really is something quite amazing, like a kind of pop-tastic Terminator. There's a school of thought that believes the only way the world will ever be rid of the evil is to launch her into a vat of molten steel. Once again, the world needs Arnie.
So this song is obviously really, really bad: a horribly nauseating load of old saccharine bibble. And yet, and yet, oh dear god no, please no, I think, I think, aaaaaaaaargh, I kind of actually like it. 2/5
Miley Cyrus – Party in the USA
Hollywood Records
Wow. Miley Cyrus really is something quite amazing, like a kind of pop-tastic Terminator. There's a school of thought that believes the only way the world will ever be rid of the evil is to launch her into a vat of molten steel. Once again, the world needs Arnie.
So this song is obviously really, really bad: a horribly nauseating load of old saccharine bibble. And yet, and yet, oh dear god no, please no, I think, I think, aaaaaaaaargh, I kind of actually like it. 2/5
artist ABC
Thursday, 27 August
Shoot that poison arrow!
event I Heart Spoonfed
Thursday, 27 August
OMFG can't believe I can't make this! Oh well I will be in sunny Australia, which is way better...
artist Lily Allen
Thursday, 20 August
SINGLES REVIEWS - 24th August 2009
Lily Allen – 22
Parlophone
Off the tube from work (at last got that toss-pot from Vogue to feature your client in their Best Brollies round-up) stuff Grazia into your bag with the lipgloss and Marlboro Lights. Get to the bar. You all order rosé, move onto vodka cranberry. Bitch about Sienna Miller, reminisce, snap a heel.
Is this it? There's hope, but it's a gin-soaked lust for Sinha-Stanic. 'Autumn/Winter '11 already?' The Ab Drab life teeters along. Mascara and misery – once more Lily nails it. 4.5/5
Lily Allen – 22
Parlophone
Off the tube from work (at last got that toss-pot from Vogue to feature your client in their Best Brollies round-up) stuff Grazia into your bag with the lipgloss and Marlboro Lights. Get to the bar. You all order rosé, move onto vodka cranberry. Bitch about Sienna Miller, reminisce, snap a heel.
Is this it? There's hope, but it's a gin-soaked lust for Sinha-Stanic. 'Autumn/Winter '11 already?' The Ab Drab life teeters along. Mascara and misery – once more Lily nails it. 4.5/5
artist Peter Andre
Monday, 17 August
SINGLES REVIEWS - 17th August 2009
Peter Andre – Behind Closed Doors
Sony BMG
TeamPete: OMFG woo! Peter Andre's like so back right now. Urgh, that skank Jordan don't deserve an ounce a sympathy – IMHO she just totally talentless. All U h8ters Petes the one with all the talent – he can really sing, and like WOW the lyrics are so honest. I mean it must be so hard for him.
@TeamPete: OMG no way! Jordan's so the bomb, always! Pete singing? I mean LMFAO – it's not even him. Jordan's the one with the talent – single mum, amazing role model imho.
Anyone interested in this tripe? 1/5 lol
Peter Andre – Behind Closed Doors
Sony BMG
TeamPete: OMFG woo! Peter Andre's like so back right now. Urgh, that skank Jordan don't deserve an ounce a sympathy – IMHO she just totally talentless. All U h8ters Petes the one with all the talent – he can really sing, and like WOW the lyrics are so honest. I mean it must be so hard for him.
@TeamPete: OMG no way! Jordan's so the bomb, always! Pete singing? I mean LMFAO – it's not even him. Jordan's the one with the talent – single mum, amazing role model imho.
Anyone interested in this tripe? 1/5 lol
artist Sean Paul
Wednesday, 05 August
SINGLES REVIEWS - 10th August 2009
*Single of the Week*
Sean Paul – So Fine
Atlantic
Is it just me or is there something innately brilliant about Sean Paul? He's obviously terrible, but he just seems to be having so much fun all the time that it's impossible to hate him with the conviction that one might reserve for, say, Akon.
'So Fine' is a standard Sean Paul paean to some 'sexy chick', but livened up by such lyrical gems as 'You could be mine / You'll be my windchime... / ...For you I'd join the longest line'. Hahaha, he's like Kevin G but with Lilt instead of math. Amazing! 4/5
*Single of the Week*
Sean Paul – So Fine
Atlantic
Is it just me or is there something innately brilliant about Sean Paul? He's obviously terrible, but he just seems to be having so much fun all the time that it's impossible to hate him with the conviction that one might reserve for, say, Akon.
'So Fine' is a standard Sean Paul paean to some 'sexy chick', but livened up by such lyrical gems as 'You could be mine / You'll be my windchime... / ...For you I'd join the longest line'. Hahaha, he's like Kevin G but with Lilt instead of math. Amazing! 4/5
Show More Reviews
