P-p-poker face, p-p-poker face. Tom Jeffreys heads to the Drunken Monkey and loses, predictably.
I think everyone likes to think of themselves as good at poker. I think of myself as good at poker, even though all of the evidence points unerringly in the opposite direction. By 'all of the evidence' I mean the simple fact that I always lose. But hey ho, self-delusion is a wonderful thing.
And so it's with this rather pathetic sense of hopefulness that we enter The Drunken Monkey in Shoreditch for a spot of Tuesday night poker. It quickly becomes apparent though that some of the players are very much here to win, and we don't really stand a chance. It's a fun evening though, and it only costs £5 to enter so it's not like you're going to end up mortgaging your parents or anything.
Sitting downstairs, it feels like you're in some secret little club – a feeling heightened by the regular servings of Four Roses bourbon that come round every now and again to bolster my flagging confidence. I actually start off reasonably well, and begin to genuinely think that I might be good, when, alas, it all goes wrong. And on a technicality as well. I'd played the hand so well, keeping cool and calm, bluffing obviously – I had nothing – and then, dramatically, comes the time to strike. At the river, I up the stakes massively. Everyone shrinks back – “Good lord, what a hand he must have! A flush? The King's gonads?” – but in my eagerness to maintain my steely silence, I neglect to say “raise”. So I can only see the stake, my bluff is called and my tactic is exposed. A thousand curses.
From there it all goes down hill, but who cares... After tucking into the courtesy dim sum and plenty more delicious bourbon cocktails, those of us who've been knocked out have a grand old evening reminiscing fondly about that time we nearly won that hand ten minutes ago and cheering on the others.
The whole thing is well-organised and fun, with a diverse range of people – from grizzled old pros to happy-go-lucky young chancers and complete incompetents like me. Watch out Drunken Monkey, I'll be back.
Poker nights take place every Tuesday at The Drunken Monkey.
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